How to Ensure You Are Always Successful

Have you ever felt like you put a lot of effort toward a goal and then felt let down once you reached it? Or worse, you worked toward something and didn’t get it and thought yourself a failure? Perhaps you would feel differently if you changed how you approached your goals and what you wanted from them.

One of my clients – let’s call her Lisa -- is a high-potential middle manager at her company. One day, Lisa told me that she had been offered new job at her company; it was a promotion. It wasn’t an immediate move but her managers were working on a plan in which they would move her to this position in the near future. A couple of months later, in a department meeting, Lisa’s managers announced that the position was open for applications to the whole company. She was told that because of company politics, they felt they had to open the position up to people both internally and externally, but Lisa was strongly encouraged to apply -- which of course, she did.

The interview process was thorough and I coached Lisa along the way. During one particular session, as she prepared for an upcoming interview presentation, I talked to Lisa about having a mastery orientation versus a performance orientation. A mastery orientation is the view that every situation is an opportunity to learn. The focus is on the learning, rather than the outcome, as in a performance orientation. When you approach a situation such as giving a presentation, or life for that matter, with a mastery orientation, your outlook, your ability to see opportunities and your idea of what it is to be successful, changes. With a mastery orientation, you approach situations with greater confidence because you know you can’t lose. Your focus is on understanding and growing and you are always able to take something positive away.

This change in mindset proved incredibly helpful to Lisa as she prepped for her presentation. She felt the pressure come off and her confidence soar. Even more remarkable, however, was when I spoke to Lisa a few weeks later and she told me that someone else got the job. Yes, I was surprised to hear this news, but even more, I was amazed at Lisa’s take on it.

Lisa told me that although she was initially disappointed at the result, she gained so much from the interview process that she felt really good overall. She was able to raise her profile among people in the company that hadn’t had the opportunity to work with. In updating her resume and preparing for interviews, Lisa was able to take stock of all of her accomplishments and achievements, and that boosted her confidence. Plus, she knew there was something more in store for her and accepted that this position wasn’t it – and that was okay.

Most of us approach life with a performance orientation, and when we don’t we don't get the outcome we are aiming for – the job, the promotion, the sale – we are disappointed. Worse, we blame ourselves, come up with all the reasons we failed and our confidence usually takes a dive. But consider these situations approached with a mastery orientation and you start to wonder what can I take away from this? What went well and how can I do better next time? What did I gain from this experience? Instead of disappointment, you gain knowledge. Instead of losing confidence, you may actually build it.

A mastery orientation challenges the notion of an ultimate goal or end-game and let’s face it, so often when we do reach what we think is our goal, we aren't satisfied. With a mastery orientation, we see all situations as something to be learned from, a step forward and not an end to anything.

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