How to have tough conversations without losing trust

Why do so many professionals avoid difficult conversations? While tough conversations can be seen as a risk, avoiding them can mean issues fester. For better performance, we must cultivate the capacity to stay in the room through discomfort. That’s not a soft skill. It’s a critical capacity that could save your team from tanking. Read more: https://lnkd.in/e7x7BJEh By Sarah Rozenthuler

𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗖𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗔𝗳𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘆 Postponing a hard talk rarely makes it easier. More often, it turns it into a crisis. We delay because: “Don’t want to hurt the relationship” / “Maybe it’ll pass on its own” / “Too much going on right now - let’s talk later” / “Not ready for the consequences” But 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝗯𝗶𝘁, 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗻. New incidents stack on the old, deepening resentment and distrust. Often this happens because our stories about the same event no longer match (mental model misalignment) and because we assume motives instead of exploring context (fundamental attribution error). 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 (I’ll explain each in more detail below): · Expectations are unclear · Agreements are broken · Communication systems cause mistakes · Bias or assumptions replace facts · Core values clash · Fear stops you from speaking up 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹: · State your intent: “I want us to find a solution” · Talk about actions, not character · Focus on the way forward, not blame 📌 Rule of thumb: Give feedback within 48 hours. It keeps facts fresh, lowers emotional buildup, and boosts the odds of a constructive dialogue. In teams where timely 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺, 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗳𝗮𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘀. Because conversation stops being a stressor, and starts being just part of how you work. 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦 (𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘰𝘶𝘵)?  𝘐’𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 🙌

I used to give people the benefit of the doubt, over and over again. I’d rationalize behavior, reinterpret tone, or convince myself that someone “didn’t mean it that way.” But here’s what I’ve learned: When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. –Dr. Maya Angelou This isn’t about being cynical. It’s about being clear-eyed. Years ago, I worked with someone who consistently dismissed my input in meetings. At first, I thought maybe they were just having a bad day. Then it happened again. And again. Even when I brought data, context, and solutions to the table, I was met with resistance or silence. I kept trying to win them over until I realized I was spending more energy trying to be heard than doing the work I was proud of. That moment taught me something important: -If someone consistently dismisses your ideas, that’s not a one-off, it’s a pattern. -If someone undermines your work in subtle ways, that’s not miscommunication, it’s a signal. -If someone shows you respect, integrity, and support, that’s who they are, too. In business operations, relationships are everything. And clarity about character helps us build the right ones. So now, I pay attention the first time. Not to judge—but to understand. Not to react—but to respond wisely. Because trusting what people show us is the first step to protecting our time, energy, and values. #StillThinking

💬 The Power of Vulnerability in High-Stakes Conversations: A Lesson from Clark and Lana In any high-stakes conversation—personal or professional—the real power doesn’t lie in the argument. It lies in timing, empathy, and the courage to be vulnerable. Take a moment from Smallville between Clark Kent and Lana Lang. Lana says: 👉 “𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆, 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝑰'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒆.” It’s raw. Emotional. But it’s also a masterclass in negotiation—specifically in tactical empathy. Chris Voss, former FBI negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference, would call this an accusatory question—a move that forces the other party to confront their emotions and make a decision. Lana is handing Clark a rare opportunity: Speak your truth, or risk leaving things unresolved. Clark hesitates. And in that moment, we learn something powerful from Voss: ⏳ If you don’t act when the moment arises, you risk losing the chance for resolution. But there’s more. Jefferson Fisher, a lawyer and expert in communication, emphasizes emotional intelligence and mutual respect. From his perspective, Lana’s request isn’t just about closure—it’s a call to deepen the relationship through vulnerability. By staying silent, Clark doesn’t just miss an answer—he misses growth. 💡 The takeaway? In both business and life, we often avoid the hard conversations because they’re uncomfortable. But those are the ones that matter most. So the next time you're in a moment of tension or truth, ask yourself: ➡️ 𝘼𝙢 𝙄 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙚𝙢𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙮, 𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙢 𝙄 𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩? Because vulnerability might feel risky—but it’s often the most important negotiation you’ll make. #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #Negotiation #Vulnerability #AuthenticLeadership #Communication #SmallvilleWisdom

Only 16% employees say their last conversation with a leader felt meaningful. It surprises people every time. In the workshop this week, the same pattern showed up. Conversations lose quality when we rush them, treat them like a checkbox, or keep one eye on the next meeting. Leaders need range. You move between manager, leader and coach in minutes. The context decides. The person in front of you decides. With four generations at work, the same message lands in four different ways. Your job is to tune, not to talk more. What to adjust first? Purpose, tone, channel or timing. Pick the one that matters now and make it clear. Try this for one week: 1️⃣ Start with purpose: why this conversation, why now. 2️⃣ Remove distractions: close the laptop, put the phone away. 3️⃣ Ask one open question and listen to understand, not to reply. 4️⃣ Finish with one next step you both can own, by when, to what standard. Meaningful rarely needs more time. It needs more presence. If you cannot give presence, slow down or reschedule. That builds more trust than a rushed five minutes. What makes a conversation meaningful for you? Share one practice below. ⬇️

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 — 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 — 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧’𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤. A client came to me frustrated with a boss who had shown unconscious bias against him for years. Now, in a high-stakes project, the boss was blocking progress at every turn. Whenever my client raised concerns, the boss dismissed him as “too emotional” or “taking things too personally” — even though the real issue was a lack of process and role clarity on a large, visible project. No matter how logical or well-prepared my client was, the conversation went nowhere for months. 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐝 — 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲: - We got crystal clear on the outcome he truly wanted, cutting out the noise. - Then we identified what his boss valued most: being seen as the one who kept everything systematic and “held it all together.” That wasn’t just a preference — it was the 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑡𝑦 his boss needed to project. So instead of pushing harder, my client reframed the conversation in a way that supported that value. And suddenly, what had felt deadlocked began to move forward with greater ease. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲? When you understand the values someone is most committed to being seen for, you can reframe your message in a way that opens the door. It’s not about giving in. It’s about aligning — so you can move things that once felt impossible. 💬 Have you ever had to reframe your approach to get past a deadlock? What shifted for you? #ExecutivePresence #LeadershipDevelopment #Influence #CareerGrowth #Negotiation #EmotionalIntelligence

How to respond to criticism at work: (and what to say instead) Most people shut down when they’re criticized. The truth? That reaction kills your credibility. You know what works? Owning it and asking for clarity. I used to react badly to criticism. Even when it wasn’t personal: ↳ Yeah, it’s terrible ↳ I was wrong ↳ I blew it 🚩 Taking criticism poorly hurts growth. Here’s how high performers handle criticism and stay respected: Presentation Criticized ❌ Yeah, it’s terrible ✅ What can I improve? Decision Questioned ❌ I was wrong ✅ Explain your concerns? Work Criticized ❌ I failed badly ✅ What does good look like? Missed Deadline ❌ I blew it ✅ Let’s set a more realistic deadline Strategy Challenged ❌ The plan was flawed ✅ Let me walk you through it Unprepared ❌ I’m not ready ✅ I don’t know right now, let me get that answer for you Numbers Are Wrong ❌ I’m not wrong ✅ I’ll review the numbers and get back to you Idea Rejected ❌ I guess my idea sucks ✅ What does a good idea look like to you? Going Off‑Track ❌ I’m lost ✅ Let’s get back on track shall we? Bad Communication ❌ I’m awful ✅ Let me explain this more clearly Overstepping ❌ My bad, that’s just me ✅ Let’s be clear about boundaries up front Priorities ❌ No idea ✅ Let’s confirm what’s most important Your words have meaning. Your response shapes how you are perceived. Choose your words wisely. Take nothing personal even when it was meant that way P.S. Which one of these will you use in your next tough conversation? ♻️ Repost to help your network elevate 🔔 follow me for more Lucas Bean

17 Powerful Phrases to Instantly Build Trust 17 Powerful Phrases to Instantly Build Trust: (Subtle shifts change how people see you) Every conversation is an opportunity for deeper trust. Here's how to make it count: 1. I made a mistake, and here is what I'm doing to fix it ↳ Show accountability without excuses 2. You were right - I hadn't thought about it that way ↳ Demonstrate humility and openness to grow 3. I have your back, no matter how this turns out ↳ Promise support through uncertainty 4. I trust you to take the lead, even if it doesn't go perfectly ↳ Create safety to take risks and grow 5. Help me understand your perspective ↳ Show a genuine desire to see their world 6. This one's on me, and here's my plan ↳ Take ownership with clear action 7. I appreciate the extra effort you put in, it didn't go unnoticed ↳ Validate and recognize their invisible work 8. Your success matters to me personally ↳ Genuinely care for others 9. You can be honest with me, no judgement ↳ Create psychological safety 10. I've got you covered, focus on what matters most to you ↳ Remove barriers so that others can excel 11. This conversation stays between us ↳ Build confidentiality even without being asked 12. Your voice matters here, thank you for speaking up ↳ Reward courage and encourage feedback 13. You don't have to go through this alone, I'm here for you ↳ Offer support and partnership in tough times 14. It's ok if you're not ready - I'll wait ↳ Respect personal boundaries and timing 15. Consider it done - I own this completely ↳ Show strong commitment to deliver 16. You bring something to this that no one else can ↳ Recognize their unique value 17. You have everything it takes to succeed - I believe in you ↳ Express genuine confidence in someone's ability Building trust isn't about grand gestures. It's about showing up in the small moments that matter. Р.С: Dora Vanourek, FolIοw Dora Vanourek for more content like this 17 Powerful Phrases to Instantly Build Trust 👇

17 Powerful Phrases to Instantly Build Trust 17 Powerful Phrases to Instantly Build Trust: (Subtle shifts change how people see you) Every conversation is an opportunity for deeper trust. Here's how to make it count: 1. I made a mistake, and here is what I'm doing to fix it ↳ Show accountability without excuses 2. You were right - I hadn't thought about it that way ↳ Demonstrate humility and openness to grow 3. I have your back, no matter how this turns out ↳ Promise support through uncertainty 4. I trust you to take the lead, even if it doesn't go perfectly ↳ Create safety to take risks and grow 5. Help me understand your perspective ↳ Show a genuine desire to see their world 6. This one's on me, and here's my plan ↳ Take ownership with clear action 7. I appreciate the extra effort you put in, it didn't go unnoticed ↳ Validate and recognize their invisible work 8. Your success matters to me personally ↳ Genuinely care for others 9. You can be honest with me, no judgement ↳ Create psychological safety 10. I've got you covered, focus on what matters most to you ↳ Remove barriers so that others can excel 11. This conversation stays between us ↳ Build confidentiality even without being asked 12. Your voice matters here, thank you for speaking up ↳ Reward courage and encourage feedback 13. You don't have to go through this alone, I'm here for you ↳ Offer support and partnership in tough times 14. It's ok if you're not ready - I'll wait ↳ Respect personal boundaries and timing 15. Consider it done - I own this completely ↳ Show strong commitment to deliver 16. You bring something to this that no one else can ↳ Recognize their unique value 17. You have everything it takes to succeed - I believe in you ↳ Express genuine confidence in someone's ability Building trust isn't about grand gestures. It's about showing up in the small moments that matter. Р.С: Dora Vanourek, FolIοw Dora Vanourek for more content like this 17 Powerful Phrases to Instantly Build Trust 👇