Retired Navy SEAL Commander🔹Men Talking Mindfulness Podcast Cohost (number 3 mindfulness podcast in the world!) 🔹Keynote Speaker🔹Entrepreneur Through Acquisition 🔹 Striving to be a Better Dad and Husband!
One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.
Jon Macaskill True leadership shines not in control, but in the courage to empower others.
So true. The goal isn’t always agreement, but understanding. Respect really does shape better outcomes.
“Leading through silence takes more strength than leading with words. This one hits different.
Valuable disagreements feel uncomfortable but create growth. Separating impact from intent transforms accusations into observations, Jon.
From a civil and military perspective, excellent. Projectmanagement, strategy, or simply day-today activities even at home, the shared purpose makes it happen for me. Thanks for sharing!
So true, and nicely stated. Separate Impact from Intent! Amen!
From Nervous Energy to Mindful Disagreement to Leadership Growth.
I love all you've shared....such great tips. I feel blessed that I get to witness and guide, in real time, couples and family members, as they practice this kind of respectful, slower, and more thoughtful approach to having difficult conversations. I do this in individual coaching, as well, if someone wants to extend this into their professional worlds. It's a game-changer. Great post! 👏
I love the "lead with curiosity" idea. One way I assess character in both leaders and followers is by observing how they handle criticism and disagreements, especially their ability to listen without feeling threatened...and pause. Skilled political leaders often use criticism strategically: to distract, disarm, or even attack opponents. So in my world, it's less about what’s the best way to react to disagreement and more about the effect any chosen reaction—or lack thereof—has on outcomes. There are no rules in leadership. Only results. "By their fruits you shall know them." If people follow you all the way to the end, does it matter whether it was out of fear, admiration, love, a paycheck—or all of the above? Ideally, they follow because of your example. But that's not always the case. A great leader is prepared to use any means necessary to get where they need to go, without losing their power.
Executive | Board Member | Intentional in helping others find successes in their journey
2moI’ve messed these conversations up from time to time. You highlight a nice framework, Jon Macaskill , thanks. I would add that most of these conversations come about with folks you already have some relations. Therefore, your reputation procedes you. The more consistent and authentic you are day-to-day, the better your comments may be received. This is a skill needing repetition to be effective. Good stuff…