Editor in Chief @ Entrepreneur Magazine | Keynote Speaker | I help people navigate change with clarity
Every speaker will face a person like this — and here’s how to handle it: Even though this person has “more of a comment than a question,” you treat them like they’re asking a question. Once you get the point they’re making, interrupt and say: “Thanks, sorry to cut you off, but you raise a great question there…” You’ve just validated something they said! They want to know what you’ll say next. You’ve also regained control and brought your audience back in. Now, reframe some small part of their “comment” as a question that you’re happy to answer. Like: “How can someone do X, given the problems with [whatever they were focused on]?” Then answer this question and move on! I picked this trick up by listening to NPR call-in shows, where the hosts have mastered this verbal jiu-jitsu. Sometimes callers ramble, and the host always cuts in, reframes what they said as a coherent question, and poses that question to the show’s guest. Then the guest answers the question, and it’s on to the next. In short: Don’t lose control. Don’t push back. Don’t awkwardly try to move on. Just treat them like a questioner whose question was a little unclear, so you’re going to clarify it. Works every time! Want help navigating other tricky situations? That’s what my newsletter is all about — subscribe at jasonfeifer.com/newsletter
I once saw a brilliant and abrupt use of this technique to cut off and reframe a question from an angry rambling union steward. This was a large “all hands” meeting, During Q&A, The union rep was giving a long rambling statement about “management versus employees and class warfare” the VP of HR stood up grabbing the nearest microphone and said “sir what’s your question and who’s it for? You could’ve heard a pin drop.
Brill-yunt. Respectful, kind, and more constructive for the whole audience. I’ve used similar tactic in facilitating group convos. Now, Meister, what’s your redirect for this moment at a mingling kind of event: Enquirer: So good to meet you as I’ve been wanting to ask a question. Moi: Terrific, happy to help if I’m able. What’s your question? Inquirer: well first, I have to back up. Moi: (silently) No you don’t. Please don’t. Just ask your question, and I’ll probe for context if I need to. But having not said that aloud, during one such moment, I couldn’t fit a smidge of redirect into the back up narrative. After five constant minutes of her talking and my nodding, she was stopped only by another guest joining us. I never did learn her question. She never did get her answer.
This is a great advice that can be used on company townhalls, Q&As and similar situations too. It helps in three aspects: - by purposefully ignoring any malice from the question, it defuses the hostility of the troll; - by reframing the comment to something coherent and answerable, it gives an opportunity to the speaker to further clarify their narrative; - finally, by efficient moderation, it ensures there's time for others in the audience too.
Sometimes, when I am interviewing a rambling job candidate, my trick is to cut in width, “thank you. Where I’d really like you to go with this is …. (Here).” It is polite. It’s a lifeline. It’s directive. It’s not quite the same as interviewing somebody on NPR, but if a candidate can’t get to the point in an interview, you can’t undercover their skills. If they are unable to get the clue, once you’ve interrupted a time or two, then they are not picking up on the questions you’re asking in the first place.
Nice! I have a good one that i use with clients going on TV: if they ask a question you don’t care for, just say “look that’s a good question. But the question we should be asking is xxxx.” And then answer that
The first thing I teach my clients is they are ALWAYS in control. When you're speaking, you're in control. When you're listening, you're in control. When you're challenged, you're in control. The best among us are those who know how to never lose control. Love the approach Jason Feifer
Coach, #tedx #keynote Speaker, Bestselling Author, Firestarter to Business #Founders and #Leaders
1yLove it, the "apology" the validation and the reframe! It reminds me of one of my first full day event, speaking to a huge room full of doctors. We came back from mid-morning break, I decided to open it for Q&A before going into the next part of my agenda, and as soon as I asked for questions a hand shot up like a mole in Whac-a-Mole ... My heart stopped because usually that means a "comment" also known as a "challenge" more than a question. I took a deep breath, smiled, pointed at the hand, and said "Yes?" And the guy said... in a voice that bordered on awe ... "where did you learn all that STUFF?" I laughed. The audience laughed. I reframed, asked him which bit of the stuff I'd learned was he most interested in learning more about, and I think of him every time I'm speaking and that first hand goes up ... I know stuff. Where I learned it doesn't matter. Who benefits from learning it from me does.