Board Chair | Kellogg Professor | Keynote | Award-Winning Author | Former F50 Executive: P&L Leader, Brand Marketer, Business Strategy
Most people shy away from giving honest feedback because they fear coming across as mean or hurting someone’s feelings. They worry about being disliked or causing discomfort—and that’s completely understandable. I’ve had to prepare myself for tough conversations, sometimes even starting with, “This is going to be a hard conversation.” Being clear and objective about what’s happening—and why it matters for the individual’s growth, their career, and the business—makes all the difference. It helps the person receiving feedback understand it without defensiveness and take meaningful action. Some of the best feedback I’ve ever received was balanced—it acknowledged my strengths while pointing out where I needed to grow. For example, I’m naturally calm under pressure and good at leading through crisis. But I was told, “You need to elevate your energy and stand-up leadership skills.” That feedback wasn’t easy to hear, but it was delivered with care and encouragement. Through multiple conversations, I finally understood the feedback and it helped me stay authentic while stepping up when it counted. Giving and receiving feedback is a skill—and when done well, it can be one of the most powerful tools for growth. How do you prepare yourself for difficult feedback conversations? #feedback #communication #skills #leadership #culture #growth
Thank you for talking about feedback! It’s such a critical but challenging skill to learn. I also like to start by saying it might be a difficult conversation. I have found “naming” it to be helpful for both parties.
Well said, Ellen, and thanks for sharing a great personal example. Research shows employees whose managers have difficult conversations regularly are 2.5 times more likely to feel engaged at work (Gallup, 2020). Teams with managers skilled in delivering constructive feedback see 14.9% higher productivity (Harvard Business Review, 2019). And when supervisors approach performance issues directly and respectfully, resolution times improve by 30% (Forbes, 2022). There are real, measurable positives for leaning into difficult conversations. Thanks for showing how it's done!
Rightly said: 'Giving and receiving feedback is a skill.' Despite knowing this well, organizations still struggle to train their people, especially senior individuals, in this subtle art, particularly in giving feedback. This might be because they have reached their position due to certain competencies that worked well, and they may not have received feedback on their blind spots. As a result, giving caring feedback becomes an issue, and when given, it often lacks empathy, leading to reaction or non-acceptance.
Whether I’m giving it or receiving it, I always start by saying it is a gift!
So well said Ellen Taaffe - balanced feedback is the best feedback for careeer (and personal) growth. Thank you for sharing!
A long time ago, I worked at a company where a talented employee had “capped out”... not because of performance, but because the org structure wasn't built to support their next move. Leadership knew it. But instead of having a transparent, respectful conversation, they kept the person in limbo, all smiles, no truth, and years of dragging them and their growth in benign uncertainty. What stayed with me wasn’t just the missed opportunity for that individual, it was the quiet erosion of trust that followed. Kindness isn’t silence. It’s honesty with care. And when we withhold clarity, we deny people the chance to make informed choices about their own path. Thank you for naming this so clearly. The kind thing is often the harder thing, but it’s the only thing that builds real integrity.
So true, Ellen Taaffe. I ground myself in how much I care about the person, so I can speak with candor and kindness and they can feel my good intentions.