How to structure performance conversations with leaders

Leadership is Dead — We Just Don’t Say It Out Loud Every day, I scroll through my feed and see posts that start with: - 12 Brutal Truths About Leadership - 7 Traits of Real Leaders - 10 Things Your Team Needs from You & so on.......... They're everywhere — neatly designed carousels, bold headlines, feel-good captions. And honestly, they sound great. In fact, they used to inspire me. But the more I see them… the more I ask: Are we really living these truths — or just sharing them? Words like “Leadership,” “Empathy,” “People-first Culture,” “Servant Leadership” are posted daily. But in reality? These words have become hollow. Just buzzwords for branding. I say this not out of cynicism, but from genuine observation — as someone who wanted to believe in the system. We see companies posting about values, mental health, and employee-first mindsets. But when you speak to the people inside those companies — really speak to them — a different truth often emerges: -Silence instead of support. -Threats disguised as performance talks. -Rules that contradict actual roles. -Mental breakdowns hidden behind muted Zoom calls. -A workforce surviving, not thriving. Let’s be honest: Real leadership isn’t a quote over a mountain background. It isn’t a carousel post with nice colors. It isn’t a 5-line caption with #leadership and a handshake emoji. Real leadership is felt. It uplifts, not imposes. It listens, not just instructs. It protects, not pressures. What we often see today isn’t leadership. It’s management in disguise. It’s a system of control, decorated with nice words. And here’s the part we don’t always talk about: Most employees are afraid. -Afraid to speak. -Afraid to say no. -Afraid to simply be human. Because behind the inspiring posts is often a quiet, unspoken message: “Do what we say — or risk your job.” If leadership is still alive — let’s stop proving it through posts. Let’s see it in how we treat people when no one’s watching. Until then, we need to be honest with ourselves: Leadership, as it was meant to be, is fading. Buried under layers of PR, KPIs, and curated perception. I know this won’t sit well with everyone. But maybe it’s time we stop pretending — and start rebuilding.

The best leaders aren’t just managers – they are mirrors. That’s what I realized after I made the transition from an individual contributor to a people manager at a Fortune 500 tech company. So many leaders manage their teams with:  → Boring team meetings 😴 → Stale one-on-one meetings 😅 → Personal attacks couched as “feedback” 😬 But the most impactful leaders? They take a different approach. They mirror the magic of the people around them. They model what it looks like to operate on the next level. They mentor in a way that gives their team the grace to grow. Here are three strategies you can use to empower people to see their potential… and step into it! 1. Go beyond status updates to spirit updates. → Ask your people how they’re doing… for real! → Check in on people when you know they’ve been having a hard time. → Let people know that you care about their well-being, not just their work.  2. Celebrate their strengths. → Don’t hyperfixate on people’s weaknesses while you ignore their strengths!  → Share positive feedback about the things they're already doing right.  → Accelerate your team's performance by leaning into their superpowers. 3. Fuel the fire.  → Learn what lights your team up!  → What are they excited to learn? What do they want to achieve? → Give your team opportunities to do work that excites them and expands their skillsets. In a world where almost 70% of employees are disengaged at work, and that disengagement costs about $2 trillion in lost productivity, leaders can’t afford to keep managing tasks and minimizing people. Adopt the “Mirror Mindset” to empower your team to lean into their strengths, embrace new opportunities, and deliver trajectory-changing results. Who was the *BEST* manager you've ever had? And what's one thing they did that made them stand out? Shout them out in the comments below! P.S. For the new folks: Hey, I'm Lauren! 👋 I spent more than a decade working in Fortune 500 companies, leading social media strategies for billion-dollar brands. Now I’m on a mission to make work more FUN. Currently offering keynotes, workshops, and coaching to empower managers to leverage play as a performance multiplier. In my downtime, you can find me performing stand-up comedy (yes, really!) and planning my first BIG trip to Europe! 

Here's what you're missing: Your people. You're sprinting from meeting to meeting, firefighting daily emergencies, and checking boxes on endless task lists. Sound familiar? While you're attempting to survive, your colleagues and team members become invisible. The quiet contributors who consistently deliver. The emerging leaders showing initiative. The struggling performers sending subtle signals for help. We begin to expect certain responses and behaviors as part of the daily norm. We overlook when someone steps out of their standard. (Sometimes we deliberately overlook it because we sense it will force us to really pause and engage. And, we don’t think we have time for that.) At the same time Leaders often tell me: "I don't have bandwidth or budgets to recognize people." "It’s always the same high performers—what else can I do?" "Our recognition programs feel hollow and performative." The real problem isn't time. It's awareness. Intentional leadership starts with awareness. When you pause & deliberately pay attention, you unlock: 🟢 Hidden talent – there are stars all around you. They don’t always stand in the spotlight. 🟢 Intervention opportunities – opportunities to step in and course correct, before performance issues escalate. You engage to help people know the behaviors, contributions, attitudes and outcomes that you expect and what that really looks like in the workplace and coach them towards it. 🟢 Authentic connection – it’s connection and appreciation that drives engagement beyond surface-level recognition programs. Your Action Plan: From Autopilot to Intentional Leadership ➡️ Stop expecting. Set the standards for culture, behavior, actions and outcome. ➡️ Start Observing.  Notice everyone, not just the loud or obvious behaviors, energies, and achievements.  Who helped? Who quietly made sure something got done? Look around to see who else is keeping the lights on and the many people who contribute to collective success. ➡️ Get curious. Ask questions that go beyond status updates. Observe behaviors, energy, and contribution patterns. Understand motivations, challenges, and aspirations. ➡️ Recognize & Show Appreciation.  Being seen and valued is a core need. See more people. Show them value in ways that are meaningful to them. Help people see and understand the specific traits that you want more of. Appreciation and gratitude are free and they have the biggest effect and impact. Ready to develop your leadership awareness? Check out Boss at the Helm’s Mini but Mighty ℠ Leadership Lessons on YouTube for content focused on meaningful recognition strategies that drive real results.

#LeadershipInsights #ExecutivePresence **Executive Presence Is Evolving—Are You?** The way we define and demonstrate executive presence is changing. Gone are the days when leadership meant “commanding the room” or relying on hierarchy for influence. Today, especially as Gen Z enters leadership roles, authentic, purpose-driven, and values-based approaches are emerging as the new standard. **What’s shifting?** - **From talking to listening:** The best leaders now listen first, speak second—inviting diverse voices to the table. - **From polish to purpose:** Instead of performing executive polish, we focus on communicating with clarity and intention, skipping the small talk and getting straight to what matters. - **From visibility to alignment:** Leadership is less about being seen and more about aligning teams around a shared mission. - **From hierarchy to trust:** Trust is now built on shared values, not just positional authority. **Leading Gen Z? Here’s what helps:** - **Be direct:** Clarity beats charm. Gen Z appreciates transparency about goals and next steps. - **Share context:** Don’t just assign tasks—explain why they matter. Context builds trust and engagement. - **Embrace the pause:** Silence isn’t disengagement. The “Gen Z stare” often means deep thought. Instead of filling the silence, invite them to walk you through their thinking. - **Invest in coaching:** Both soft skills and cross-generational communication can—and should—be learned at all levels. **The future of leadership is inclusive, adaptive, and rooted in trust.** If we want to inspire and retain the next generation of talent, we must evolve our approach. It’s not about Gen Z “learning the rules”—it’s about leaders adapting to a changing world. Would love to hear your thoughts on what executive presence means in your organization! How are you adapting to these shifts? Sources

Magic happens outside your COMFORT ZONE. This is not just a quote. It’s a warning for every leader. Toxicity grows in comfort. When leaders get too comfortable, they stop listening. They stop learning. They stop caring. That’s when the culture starts to rot. Here are 7 signs your comfort zone is hurting your team: 1. You avoid hard talks ↳ Problems fester when you ignore them. ↳ Silence is the best friend of toxicity. 2. You reward the same people ↳ Comfort makes you play favorites. ↳ Growth comes from giving new people a chance. 3. You ignore feedback ↳ Leaders who stop listening lose trust. ↳ Employees start to check out. 4. You let bad behavior slide ↳ One toxic person can poison a whole team. ↳ Comfort makes you look away. 5. You stop learning ↳ The best leaders are always students. ↳ Comfort kills curiosity. 6. You fear change ↳ Great cultures adapt and evolve. ↳ Comfort zones keep you stuck in the past. 7. You forget your impact ↳ Every leader shapes the culture. ↳ Comfort makes you forget people are watching. If you want a healthy workplace, you must step out of your comfort zone. Real leadership means having hard talks, listening to feedback, and making tough calls. It means putting people first, even when it’s hard. Toxicity grows in silence and comfort. Growth happens when you get uncomfortable. Lead by example. Step out. Speak up. Shape the culture you want to see. 👍 & ♻️ to help others become better leaders. Follow Dwight for more tactical leadership tips and strategies. 💡New Leader? Get my leader playbook, questions, activities, leadership skills program, and more with our popular NEW LEADER Bundle. Launch special... https://lnkd.in/gv6uwm_V 👉 Want to be a leader? Grab my popular Complete Leader Package and unlock your potential today. Includes my Leader playbook with tools, activities, questions, frameworks, agendas, and more. Get started today - 70% off this month - https://lnkd.in/gpxbuDCe 🚨Order your 52 Activity Cards w Box. 250 available - Receive your box in days & never plan another team meeting activity again! Grab them here: https://lnkd.in/g3dCEuxT 💪 Want to simply develop your Leadership Skills? Start our 52 Leadership Skills Program here: https://lnkd.in/gBB-ap6g #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #leadershipskills #1on1 #coaching #engaging #mindset #ownership #engagement #goals

From Manager to Leader: Navigating the Shift with Emotional Intelligence The path from being a manager to becoming a true leader isn’t just about climbing the corporate ladder—it’s about transforming how you show up for your team, your organization, and yourself. Many professionals discover that the skills that make them great managers—planning, organizing, and executing—aren’t enough to unlock the trust, inspiration, and innovation that define effective leadership. So, what bridges the gap? Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Why Emotional Intelligence Matters Leadership today isn’t about titles or authority; it’s about influence, connection, and impact. Emotional intelligence provides the foundation to: Self-Awareness – Recognizing your strengths, blind spots, and triggers so you can lead authentically. Self-Regulation – Managing your emotions in high-pressure moments, setting the tone for resilience and focus. Empathy – Understanding the experiences of your team, building psychological safety, and driving engagement. Social Skills – Communicating with clarity, resolving conflicts productively, and inspiring collaboration. Motivation – Staying purpose-driven while helping others connect to the bigger vision. From Directing to Inspiring Managers often focus on directing tasks and ensuring compliance. Leaders inspire ownership. They create space for creativity, innovation, and accountability by trusting their people. When leaders lean into EQ, they shift from being task-oriented to people-oriented—without losing sight of results. Practical Ways to Lead with Emotional Intelligence Listen actively – Resist the urge to “solve” immediately. Sometimes, your team needs to be heard more than they need answers. Model vulnerability – Share your challenges and growth moments. This builds authenticity and trust. Recognize achievements – Celebrate not just outcomes, but effort and progress along the way. Ask better questions – Replace “Did you finish this?” with “What support do you need to move this forward?” Manage energy, not just tasks – Pay attention to burnout signals and create a culture where balance is valued. The Payoff When managers evolve into leaders with strong emotional intelligence, they don’t just meet KPIs—they elevate people, culture, and performance. Teams become more resilient, engagement rises, and organizations achieve sustainable success. The next generation of leadership is not defined by control, but by connection. ✨ If you’re navigating this shift yourself, remember: becoming a leader isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about creating an environment where your team can thrive. #LeadershipDevelopment #EmotionalIntelligence #LeadershipSkills #ManagertoLeader #ExecutiveLeadership #LeadershipMindset #SelfAwareness

Most ‘leaders’ never ask: What’s blocking you right now? But I think about this question every single week. (More often than I want to admit.) The truth is, leading from behind a desk keeps you blind. You might see numbers. You might hear reports. But you miss the friction, the little barriers, the team’s real struggles. I’ve watched what happens when leaders keep their distance: → Trust fades bit by bit → Goals get set with zero input from the people who do the work → Real problems hide in plain sight (until they explode) → Nobody gets a chance to step up or learn in the moment Fast forward to when leaders show up-everything shifts. Presence matters. Visibility matters. Here’s the practice that changed how I lead: I go to where the work happens. I walk, watch, and ask simple questions: → “What’s the target today?” → “What’s slowing us down?” → “Which tool or support do you wish you had right now?” → “What’s ONE thing that would make your job easier?” You can see the spark in someone’s eyes when they feel heard. Sometimes it’s a safety risk we overlooked. Sometimes it’s a process that adds stress every day. Sometimes it’s a missing resource, or a tiny fix that saves hours. When I see friction, here’s what I do: → Tackle it with the team. → Capture three small things we can fix together (not next quarter, but right now). → Reflect on one big lesson we can use next time. The magic happens in the middle of the shift - not in a meeting room. On-the-spot coaching means people grow fast. They step up, offer ideas, take pride. I learned to share what we found-across the whole team. People see progress, feel included, and learn from each other’s wins and struggles. The truth is: Leaders don’t create followers - they create more leaders. Doing this - asking, listening, acting together - takes time. But the trust you build is worth every minute. You spot future leaders. You grow confidence. You show you care. Ready to try it? Set aside 45 minutes this week. Walk with your team, listen, ask, and solve one thing together. How have you seen your team change when you get close to the work? What’s one barrier you helped remove that made a real difference? #Leadership #PeopleManagement #GembaWalk #ContinuousImprovement #HR #Operations #Trust #Growth

As leaders, it’s easy to get caught up in targets, strategy, and performance metrics. But one of the most impactful things we can do as managers is something very simple: regular check-ins with our teams. These conversations aren’t just about work progress — they’re about listening, understanding challenges, and creating space for open dialogue. Sometimes the most valuable support you can give is simply being present and showing genuine care. ✅ A 15-minute check-in can prevent burnout. ✅ A thoughtful question can spark new ideas. ✅ A moment of listening can build trust that lasts. Great managers don’t just drive results, they nurture people. When your team feels seen and heard, performance follows naturally. I make it a priority to check in regularly — not to “monitor,” but to connect. Because behind every KPI is a human being who wants to feel valued.

Why do so many leaders hesitate to show the qualities their titles represent? One question I often reflect on is: Why are leaders afraid to show empathy toward their team? Most leaders have learned the “soft skills” required for their roles. They’ve studied communication, teamwork, and emotional intelligence. Yet when it comes to applying these in real workplace interactions, many hold back not because they don’t value empathy, but because they fear the consequences of showing it. From a psychological standpoint, this is often tied to bias and pre-assumptions. If you approach your employees with judgments already formed, your ability to practice empathy is compromised. In Daniel Goleman’s framework of Emotional Intelligence (EI), empathy sits at the heart of effective relationship management. Without suspending judgment, even the best-learned skills remain theory, not practice. Here’s something worth remembering: people change. Critical situations often push individuals to grow, even when they resist it. If you trust that change is inevitable and treat each situation as a fresh scenario rather than relying on old assumptions. You create space for authentic empathy and collaborative solutions. I once met a leader who was naturally empathetic, but he second-guessed himself with employees he considered “below his level.” He worried that shortening the gap between leadership and coworkers might make him lose authority. Instead of showing genuine empathy, he tried to maintain the gap. The result? His attempt looked incongruous, and employees could sense the disconnect. Eventually, he had to step into their shoes and surprisingly, it created less stress, stronger trust, and more productive outcomes. What he once feared turned out to be his greatest strength. So, when it’s time to show empathy: 1. Don’t second guess. 2. Be confident and let others see that quality in you. 3. Practice empathy fully—listen, acknowledge, and respond. 4. Maintain your confidence while showing compassion. 5. Co-create solutions—help them think through, while contributing your insights. Finding a solution and adapting to change is always a 50/50 process. When both sides win, empathy has done its job and you’re free to face the next challenge with even greater trust and respect behind you. Empathy is not weakness. It’s one of the strongest leadership tools we have, and when practiced with confidence, it transforms workplaces into spaces of collaboration, productivity, and growth. If you’d like more practical tips on leadership, wellbeing, and emotional intelligence, feel free to reach out. Saumya Senadeera Psychological Counselor | Wellbeing Trainer #Leadership #Empathy #SoftSkills #EmotionalIntelligence #WorkCulture #Communication #Teamwork #HumanLeadership #ChangeManagement

MANAGEMENT TIP OF THE DAY LEADERS, DON'T BRING YOUR WHOLE SELF TO WORK “Bring your whole self to work” may sound empowering, but in senior leadership, it can do more harm than good. Transparency is valuable—but only when it’s strategic. As a leader, your job isn’t to share everything; it’s to project clarity, earn trust, and foster stability. Here’s how to stay authentic without oversharing. 1. CURATE, DON'T CONCEAL: You don’t need to hide who you are, but you do need to manage how you show up. Share personal stories only if they support company values or team goals. Leave impulsive reactions and private struggles for your support network, not public forums. 2. REGULATE BEFORE YOU RELATE: Self-awareness and self-control are prerequisites for leadership. Before reacting, pause. Before responding, breathe. Especially in high-stakes or emotional moments, composure communicates strength. 3. MODEL YOUR VALUES, DON'T PERFORM THEM: Skip the social media declarations. Your actions—consistent, fair, and professional—are what define you, not hashtags or heartfelt posts. 4. PROTECT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE: Leadership doesn’t require 24/7 visibility. Set boundaries around your time and presence. Doing so is leading by example, encouraging work-life balance in others. 5. LEAD WITH EMPATHY, NOT EGO: Great leaders make others feel seen. That means listening more than talking, asking more than telling, and holding space for perspectives that differ from your own.   Read more in the article Why Leaders Should Bring Their Best Self—Not Their Whole Self—to Work by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic