Yoga Position: Electrocuted Moth at Idunno
Greater Denver Area
- Current
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- Yoga Position: Electrocuted Moth at Idunno
- Project Weenie at Edgesource
- Chair and CEO at ZettaSpace Inc.
- Past
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- Software Consultant at Northrop Grumman Mission Systems
- Sr. Programmer Analyst at JohnsManville
- Uber Lacky at NCTI
- HRIS Programmer Analyst at Honeywell
- Education
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- Arizona State University
- Phoenix College
- Recommended
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3 people have recommended Ted - Connections
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42
connections
- Industry
- Computer Software
- Websites
Ted Catalioto’s Summary
I do geeky stuff like make websites and write business programs. If people say "I cannot stand our company's software" then, uh... that stuff wasn't written by me. When people say, "This software is awesome! I wish it was a person so I could ask it to marry me!" then, uh, that person has issues and I didn't write their software either.
Ted Catalioto’s Specialties:
Background with DoD, Manufacturing, HRIS, integrations, process leaning, boxed software sales, and website development. I also can do some cooking, home repairs, and love to embarass my children.
Ted Catalioto’s Experience
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Yoga Position: Electrocuted Moth
Idunno
(Entertainment industry)
July 2009 — Present (5 months)
My profile was boring me. The link said "Add position." So I added a yoga position. I call it the Electrocuted Moth. It's what happens when I sit on my yoga ball holding a glass of Kool-Aid and then get all swank and try to balance without my feet touching the ground but then things go all crazy and I end up flailing like an electrocuted moth, Kool-Aid goes everywhere and I fall on my ass. WARNING: This is an advanced position. Do not try it at home.
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Project Weenie
Edgesource
(Privately Held; Information Technology and Services industry)
January 2006 — Present (3 years 11 months)
That's Mr. Project Weenie to you! Yah, I get to roll up my sleeves and write C#. Yah, I get to lead customers through JAD/Mapping sessions and help them design the next generation of solutions for their business. I uh also get to produce project plans and status reports and stuff like that (woah now - watch that fun-o-meter!). But the coolest thing is... that I get to play with VB6 again. I missed it sooooo much (NOT!)
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Chair and CEO
ZettaSpace Inc.
(Internet industry)
June 2004 — Present (5 years 6 months)
ZettaSpace is a near bankrupt hosting and software solution start-up, but hey - I am C.E.O! Cool, Excited and Optimisicated! It offers all kinds of solutions to people and businesses that want to get their websites up and running, license software from Microsoft, lease servers, promote world peace, generate blog materials, and more!
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Software Consultant
Northrop Grumman Mission Systems
(Public Company; NOC; Defense & Space industry)
January 2006 — September 2008 (2 years 9 months)
I wrote some code, cranked the C# madness engine with the electric code orchestra in Sierra Vista (and played kick ball, which really hurt). Hung out DoDAF-style with the NGESians, drawing diagrams that would make bio-engineering look like a cake-walk... WHAT? I won? I won the german-chocolate cake!! Oh...sorry...got off track. Java - lots of Java, and project schedules, and budgets, and... has anyone seen my cotton work gloves? I swear I had them around here somewhere. . . [pause] oh my.
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Sr. Programmer Analyst
JohnsManville
(Computer Software industry)
December 2003 — January 2006 (2 years 2 months)
Well until things went all "It's So Easy" SAP-Happy over there, it was really cool! The people still rock the party - I still have my coffee mug from there with the team members on it. Good Times. Did all kinds of groovy things - gathered a bunch of VB6 legacy code into a consolidated environment (like hearding moths, really), maintained and enahanced that. Was team lead for RAD & implementation of a totally tricked-out production scheduling application in .NET to replace a legacy one - works really well. New features combined with familiar look and feel = happy users. [sigh, our work there....is done].
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Uber Lacky
NCTI
(Educational Institution; Telecommunications industry)
2002 — 2003 (1 year )
Did you know I can provide a brief description of this position? OK, well you stand with your feet should-width apart, grab the USB cable with your left hand and jump off the retaining wall screaming something like,"Versata Foreverrrrrrr!!!!" That about sums it up. Except for the part where you set up about 6 machines to play "I'm Free" over Thanksgiving weekend, and someone thinks you hacked their network (I only wish I was that brilliant...alas, it was just a shared folder and me running around clicking "play" - LAME-O).
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HRIS Programmer Analyst
Honeywell
(Public Company; HON; Aviation & Aerospace industry)
1996 — 2000 (4 years )
There were these cool people in RM, and these other cool people in HRIS, and then there were cool people in IT. I got to meet and work with all of them and you didn't, so pftththththththtth!!! Oh, I did lots of important stuff, probably the coolest was the salary planning thing - although the application that managed the re-organization was pretty cool. But, really nothing beats MAPPER. I mean, it was on a UNIVAC - that is the kewlest thing ever! I got to write funky-script for a UNIVAC? Awesome.
Ted Catalioto’s Education
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Arizona State University
BA , Theater , 1991 — 1993
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Phoenix College
AA , General - Honors , 1989 — 1991
President's Scholar
- Activities and Societies:
- Phi Theta Kappa - Honorary member
Additional Information
Ted Catalioto’s Websites:
Ted Catalioto’s Interests:
CREATIVE: Music Composition, Video Production, Screen Writing, Doodling, etc. BUSINESS: Start-ups, Revivals, Investment Opportunities...
Ted Catalioto’s Honors:
I am the self-appointed winner of the Ted's Insane In the Membrane Uber Genius Money Saving Value Proposition Technical Consolidated SOX 508 Guitar Hero Award. It is only awarded every 3,000 years and you are looking at the first Earth-based life form to win it, baby! Oh yeah. [sizzle]
Ted Catalioto’s Contact Settings
Interested In:
- career opportunities
- consulting offers
- new ventures
- job inquiries
- expertise requests
- business deals
- reference requests
- getting back in touch
