Giovanni Diviacchi

Current

• Senior Business Analyst at Fannie Mae
• Standup Comic aka MC Slimm Slappy (Self-employed)
• Comedy Writer (Self-employed)

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Past

• Business Application Project Manager at Freddie Mac
• Facilities Engineer at Olston Temp Agency
• Logistics Coordinator at Lakeshore Athletic Services

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Education

• DC Improv Comedy School
• ImprovOlympic
• Second City Training Center

• Northwestern University
• Loyola University of Chicago
• Fenwick High School
• St. Frances of Rome

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4 more...

Recommended

5 people have recommended Giovanni

Connections

452 connections

Industry

Entertainment

Websites

• Comedy Profile
• Grocery Store DJ clip
• Joke Book on Amazon.com

Giovanni Diviacchi’s Summary

I'm originally from a small town outside Chicago called Cicero. You may have heard it in the national news, it's usually followed by the phrase "mob related" or "racially motivated." The street I lived on was part of the Adopt a Roadway program. My street was adopted by the Tortellini crime family of Chicago. It made for an interesting dynamic, in that we lived on the safest, in terms of unreported crime, and cleanest street in Cicero, but on the other hand, they turned my street into a toll road. It cost me five dollars to go to and from school each day. The house we lived in was designed by Frank Lloyd Rite, spelled R-I-T-E, and it was very unique because it was built in the back of a miniature gold course golf. The 16th hole ran through our kitchen.
Did you hear that Bill Gates and his wife are going to have a new baby boy? Yeah, they’re going to call him Bill Gates 2.0.
Monty Python came out with a DVD of all their TV shows. I bought the record, I bought the tape, I bought the CD, I bought the book, how many versions of the Dead Parrot Sketch do I have to buy before you’re satisfied John Cleese!!!

Giovanni Diviacchi’s Specialties:

Performance Credits: Washington DC (Wiseacres, RiotAct Comedy Club, DC Improv, Topaz Hotel), Boston (Comedy Connection, Dick Doherty Comedy Club), Chicago (Comedy Womb, Wacko's, Zanies), and Toronto (Yuk Yuks). E-mail me at hello.giovanni@gmail.com for showtimes.

Giovanni Diviacchi’s Experience

• Senior Business Analyst

  Fannie Mae

  (Public Company; 5001-10,000 employees; FNM; Real Estate industry)

  October 2006 — Present (1 year 8 months)

  Supporting the Loan Delivery system. Researching Production and Business Rule issues, gathering requirements for releases, and testing updates to Production. Also, helping to create a Loan Delivery Knowledge Center and a Rules Management Toolkit.
  Attended the 2007 Telelogic Workshop and Conference in Atlanta, Georgia.

• Standup Comic aka MC Slimm Slappy

  Self-employed

  (Self-Employed; Myself Only; Entertainment industry)

  October 2001 — Present (6 years 8 months)

  "Bring on the Funny: A Businessman's Joke Book" is a compilation of jokes from my standup routine. Drawing upon my background as an Italian-American with a background in Anthropology, Mortgage Finance, and Business Rules, I present my jokes and witty one-liners in a format that will make you think and laugh at the same time. You will find yourself using my one-liners time and time again, sharing them with your family, friends, and business colleagues, bringing smiles to any social gathering or business presentation that you wish to use them at.
  
  Available on Amazon Shorts:
  http://www.amazon.com/Bring-Funny-Businessmans-Joke-Book/dp/B000V8MV4E/ref=dp_shrt_new_0/002-2951276-1545626

• Comedy Writer

  Self-employed

  (Self-Employed; Myself Only; Entertainment industry)

  January 2001 — Present (7 years 5 months)

  Two joke books, "How Many Clients Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb: A Lawyer Strikes Back" and "Bring on the Funny: A Businessman's Joke Book" have been awarded the prestigious The Stephen T. Colbert Award For The Literary Excellence.

• Business Application Project Manager

  Freddie Mac

  (Public Company; 1001-5000 employees; FRE; Real Estate industry)

  August 1991 — October 2006 (15 years 3 months)

  Elected to the Freddie Mac lunchtime Basketball Hall of Fame for my Running One Hand shots from 12 to15 feet, Hands all over you Defense (including hacks, holds, blood letting), and Rebounding.
  Experience in the architecture, development and quality assurance of mission critical projects under fast-paced environments. Proven expertise with Business Rules, with exposure to web technologies and several relational databases on several development platforms. Good team player and leader with excellent communication skills. Resourceful in using all the tools and people that are available to me. Maintained the service that uses business rules to move data from the web-based delivery system to the legacy system. Exhibited a high degree of patience and thoroughness mapping delivery data to the web-based system, mapping attribute by attribute so that the rules have the correct data references, and leveraged my business contacts to get clarity around items that needed to be researched.

• Facilities Engineer

  Olston Temp Agency

  (Public Company; 1001-5000 employees; Financial Services industry)

  August 1990 — July 1991 (1 year)

  My parents signed me up for a temp service when I was born, and when I went in for my initial interview after college, they asked me how long I was with the company. I told them 21 years. So I got a plum position with one of the Big Eight accounting firms (Kansas or Kansas State, I forget which), but I got a little nervous after they began laying people off, because I wasn't really "qualified" for my position. So my manager called me into his office one day and said, "Giovanni, as you know, we're laying people off, but we feel your contributions to the company are too important to let you go." So I accepted his offer for a volunteer position. I missed the Benefits, but I got to keep my job.

• Logistics Coordinator

  Lakeshore Athletic Services

  (Privately Held; 1-10 employees; Events Services industry)

  September 1984 — July 1990 (5 years 11 months)

  I was the company's Gopher. "Hey Gio, go for this, go for that." My greatest moments were (1) packing the entire contents for race day set up of the Chicago Triathlon - the largest triathlon in the world - in one 10’ x 30’ Self-Storage space, and (2) Discovering the 3 principles for a successful project:
  - There's always room for one more,
  - If it doesn't fit, make it fit,
  - When in doubt, use duct tape.
  
  DISCLAIMER: I have no affiliation with the sponsored links & ads on the right margin................

Giovanni Diviacchi’s Education

• DC Improv Comedy School

  Public Speaking Certificate, Stand up Comedy: The Workshop Series, 2006 — 2006

  I don't mind if standup comics steal my jokes, because it lets me claim them as dependents on my tax return.

  Activities and Societies:

  Took public speaking and standup comedy classes with Matt Kazam and a sketch write class with Ali Farahnakian, Owner of the Peoples Improv Theater (PIT).

• ImprovOlympic

  N/A, Improvisation, 1989 — 1992

  Name dropping alert: Took many classes with Del Close, learning to perform The Ritual, The Harold, and The Movie, and numerous other Improv games. Performed for house team Frankly Sinatra, directed by Jon Favreau, and led by Frances Callier. Took my first classes with Ian Roberts and Ali Farahnakian, later of Upright Citizens Brigade fame. OK, I'm done.

  Activities and Societies:

  Comedy is all about exposure. The other day, my cousin saw me walking in the background of a live FOX news shot. I'm going to put it on my resume as a TV appearance.

• Second City Training Center

  Sketch Writing - Comedy 1989 — 1989

  One of these days, I'd like to come out with my own Christmas Album, where I'll do covers of old jokes.

  Activities and Societies:

  I took one class there with Michael McCarthy. He was a good teacher and gave us the tools to start writing

• Northwestern University

  N/A, Anthropology, 1987 — 1988

  I was an Anthropology major in college (before I finally had to quit, too many skeletons in my closet). As you can probably guess, I didn’t get a lot of job offers when I graduated. The best I could do was a night job attending market research surveys.
  So I tried one of those ads, “How to make millions working from your own home.” And I wanted to try something different, so I started my own hospital. I was doing so well that I started to run out of beds. But I had to close down when the neighbors complained about the noise. Like they never heard a siren before.

  Activities and Societies:

  Professor Helen B. Schwartzman was my advisor.

• Loyola University of Chicago

  Bachelor of Science, Anthropology, 1984 — 1987

  I was part of an Italian fraternity college. We would have a toga party each year where the guy dressed as Julius Caesar would get stabbed. "Et Tu, Guido?"
  There was this one maintenance man in college who would answer every greeting with, “OK”. “How’s it going Charlie?” “OK” “How’s the weather?” “OK” “Doing anything this weekend?” “OK” So one day, my buddies and I decided to greet him with an OK, before he could, to see what would happen. So I say, OK, and he froze, and smoke started coming out of his ears, and he passed out, so we rushed him to the hospital, and when he came to, we were at his side, and he said, “OK”, and he recovered.

  Activities and Societies:

  Track and Cross Country, Chardin Anthropological Society. Work study student in the Athletics Department. Earned a Minor in Italian.

• Fenwick High School

  1979 — 1983

  Fenwick was different than most schools because it was a charter school run by the Teamsters. We'd have to clock in every morning. Instead of a report card, we got a timecard. In English class we learned to fill out work orders. "Jimmy, can you spell requisition?"

  Activities and Societies:

  Fenwick was a tough school. It was so tough, that the Biology Club would sponsor involuntary Blood Drives. Our cross-town rival was a charter school run by the AFL-CIO called Jackie Presser High School. We played an annual football game. You know how some rivals play for a trophy, like Purdue and Indiana play for the Old Oaken Bucket? We'd play for the Big Brown Bat.

• St. Frances of Rome

  Humanities, Urban Myth/Warfare, 1970 — 1979

  When my wife and I had a tough time finding an affordable place to live, we moved in with my parents, who were in a Nursing Home at the time. We did our best to fit in, but it wasn’t working out, so my parents moved out and bought a house using a Reverse Mortgage, which is where you buy the house outright, and the bank sends you a payment each month to buy the house back. The bank though missed some payments, so my parents started foreclosure proceedings, and won. Now they own their own bank.

  Activities and Societies:

  When my grandpa passed away, I called this place called Funeral Home Depot to take care of the arrangements. My grandpa would have liked that, because he was a very frugal man. When he found out it would cost $400 to pay an ambulance to transport him to the hospital, he yelled at me, “forget the respirator, I’ll hold my breathe, take me.” The one thing I learned is that when you buy a burial plot, you get a title to own the land, which was ironic, because my grandfather was a lifetime renter.

Additional Information

Giovanni Diviacchi’s Websites:

• Comedy Profile
• Grocery Store DJ clip
• Joke Book on Amazon.com

Giovanni Diviacchi’s Interests:

Playing basketball (because I can score on anybody), Comedy Improvisation (specifically, The Harold). Looking for a good attorney?: Diviacchi.com Looking for something good to read?: DCstandup.com/readingroom.shtml My great grandfather had a saying, “Work like you will live forever, pray like you will die tomorrow."

Giovanni Diviacchi’s Groups:

DCstandup.com, a professional group of standup comics in the Washington DC area.
BRcommunity.com, a group of business rule professionals.
One-time President of the Chardin Anthropological Society at Loyola University of Chicago.
Contributor to Upright Citizens Brigade, Season 1, "Teamsters Children's Puppet Theatre."
Co-wrote and performed in the award winning comedies, "Let Go my Ego" and "Live from Cicero, It's Wednesday Night!", at the Last Act Bar and Grill in Chicago., Diviacchi family, DallasBlue group

•    The DallasBlue Business Network member
•    DC Capitol Link member
•    Facebook.com member
•    Ron Paul 2008 member
•    "Five at the Light" Standup Comics group member
•    Animation, Media & Entertainment member
•    Informed Ideas For Writers member
•    DallasBlue DC member
•    FREDDIE MAC CONNECTIONS member
•    Lawyer Search Guide member

Giovanni Diviacchi’s Honors:

Authored "How Many Clients Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb: A Lawyer Strikes Back". Refreshing look at the practice of law from an attorney’s perspective, the ones who are usually the butt of jokes. For the law student about to embark on the world of attorney-client relationships, it serves as a training guide by providing an insight into the personalities that clients as humans unavoidably exhibit. A great stocking stuffer or gag gift for the lawyer/law student in the family.

Presented at the 10th International Business Rules Forum, "How Many Business Rule Analysts Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb?". Based on the speaker’s experiences launching BRMSs at two government chartered enterprises over seven years, the session took a light-hearted look at the world of business rule implementation.

Presented at the 2008 Telelogic Mid-Atlantic Local User Group meeting: "Documenting rules in DOORS: Not Business Requirements as Usual"

Giovanni Diviacchi’s Contact Settings

Interested In:

• career opportunities
• consulting offers
• new ventures
• job inquiries
• expertise requests
• business deals
• reference requests
• getting back in touch