Phil G
Social Media Maximizer and Professional Speaker: Helping YOU connect to your customers and your employees!
What's the best question you've ever asked or been asked that helped you get to know someone better?
I'm looking to learn some great questions that could help someone get to know another person better. Thanks for sharing your genius!
Good Answers (1)
Stephen K
Director at Henshuu Limited
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Phil, from the responses you've received it may just be that the best question is the one you asked originally.
"What could I ask you that would help me get to know you better?"
More Answers (69)
Kristina F
Director at Cummins, Inc
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Gee Phil,
That's a tough one! It really depends (for me) on what relationship I have with them (before I ask the question) and what relationship I am motivated to have with them long-term.
Also, as the recipient of questions asked, it's not so much the question asked, but the sincerity that is transmitted in your voice as you do the asking and the eye contact that you've established with me (assuming that it is in person). I am extremely relationship oriented and there's nothing more I detest than for people to ask me questions only as an exercise. Know what I mean?!
Most questions which help you get to know someone better are best situationally generated. For instance, if someone comes in wearing a sports-related shirt, you can ask them about the team. Fans will have LOTS to say :).
Can you provide any more specifics (i.e. is this an acquaintence? a close personal relationship?)
Interesting question for a Sunday. In general, I ask what books and movies they enjoyed growing up with and still enjoy. You can a lot about a person by the books they read and movies they watch.
Good question Phil.
To really get to know someone ask them what are their life's biggest dreams and biggest fears. Then ask why.
Most people won't know how to answer that right off the bat and it's best not to be the first question asked when you meet them but if you really want to know someone - I think this is the question to ask.
Everyone has dreams and fears - and they're all different and unique.
My biggest dream is to find a way to bring peace to this world - even just a little bit. My biggest fear is fear itself - fear of not living my life to my fullest potential.
Hope this helps :)
Guy Reichard
http://www.exante.ca
I can't make this a long answer. The answer is pretty simple. The question is:
"Tell me a little about yourself"?!
That question leaves the door wide open for your conversation partner or yourself to speak about exactly what you find important to tell. Topics selected in the response will tell as much about that individual as the content of the topics. It's an excellent and simple question, which will get your very, very far in getting to know someone.
Rodolphe M
CEO at Stealth
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"Will you marry me?"
The answer usually tells a lot.
Clarification added February 4, 2007:
I hasten to say I do not use it in a professional environment terribly often though.
"What makes you unique?"
Wayne T
President at www.greatwebmeetings.com
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Phil, the simple answer is, "Why is that important to you?" and when you get the answer, ask again.."and why is THAT important to you?" You'd be amazed how quickly you know what makes someone tick....
Always happy to share my brilliance.....
What... is the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?
http://www.armory.com/swallow.html
There is no hard and steadfast answer(s) to this question, however, here is my suggestions:
If it is a professional acquaintance, ask: "What made you choose the company that you are with?". Everyone makes a decision on where to work and it will typically open the door to other questions.
If a person is with a significant other (and you are meeting for the first time), a great question to ask (to break the ice) is. "How did you meet?". I have heard some great stories and the question is as such where both people can participate.
Overall, be sincere with your question and always be cognizant that once you ask, it is the person's prerogative to how they are going to respond.
"Tell me about your family" has always been a sure one for me. In our famiily we play a game called "Favorites" where we take turns picking categories and then each of us share our favorites in those categories. For example, favorite book, favorite movie, meal, outdoor game as a child, teacher growing up, family tradition. I have found that getting to know someone is a pleasure that need never end. The moment it does is the moment where that "take for granted feeling" can begin to grow.
Phil I have a collection of 500 Questions that I am about to publish in 2 seperate books designed to help teams accomplish just what you are asking. Best wishes ! Kirk
"What has been your greatest accomplishment in life?"
Lisa H
Vice President and OD Consulting Practice Lead at Management Performance International
What's your sweet spot - what do you do better than most people?
What fuels your passion?
What's on the top of your list of things you want to do before you die?
What's fun?
Hi Phil!
Great question!! I was once asked, "If you were given 6 months to live what decisions would you make today?"
A kind of heavy question, but it is a great one to get to the heart of a person. ;)
Take care!!
Pam
The question asked is, "How can I be a better..." This could be friend, parent, child, partner, manager or co-worker.
Bruce K
bruce.kane.linkedin @ gmail.com | Professional Services Consultant (Microsoft Exchange) | LION / open networker
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Read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. You'll find a lot of good information on building relationships, establishing rapport and getting to know people.
bruce.kane.linkedin@gmail.com
open networker
Phil:
I think the question depends on the context, but here are few questions I like. They are in no particular order:
1. What are you passionate about?
2. Where do you find your inspiration?
3. What kind of legacy would you like leave?
4. What is your secret ambition?
5. Who is your greatest influence?
6. Where do you feel most comfortable?
7. What does your ideal world look like?
8. What are your guilty pleasures?
9. What drives you crazy?
10. Where do you go when you daydream?
I don't know if they are brilliant, but I hope some of these will be helpful to you. Good luck!
Jeff
I asked this same question once and the best answer I was given (at least seemed like the easiest to find myself realistically asking) was:
"Where are you from?"
It's not too personal yet invites many more questions and gets the other person to talk about himself/herself.
Ray V
Social Media Strategist, Speaker, Corporate Community expert
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ARE you?
Who was the person that you looked to as a mentor as you were growing up and how did they help you arrive at where you are today?
Hmm, I like a sliding doors approach:
What prior events in your life led to our meeting today?
What would you like me to know about you?
[Scene: sitting on airplane, I decide I'd like to "chat it up" with my seat-mate.]
Jason Womack: Hi neighbor, I'm Jason.
Guest: Hi, I'm _________.
Jason: Are you headed out, or headed home?
[This is a safe question, allowing us both time and information to get to know a little about the other person.]
Guest: I'm headed out.
J: I'm going to (city) to present a seminar on balance- in work and at life.
G: I'm headed to a meeting in (city).
J: Wow, what line of work are you involved in?
[NOTE: This is just a question I use to prime the pump. It's a set-up question for the real one, that comes below...]
G: I'm in advertising design, specializing in made-for-tv movie commercials.
[Ok, here it comes, the question that gets people talkin, about something interesting, and teaching, about something I can use when we land in the city to which we are traveling.]
J: Wow...so, I gotta know. Did you always know you were going to be in design and advertising? I mean, when did you find out you wanted to make this part of your career?
...
So, I do anything I can to get to that last question. I can not begin to tell you HOW MUCH I have learned from peopel over the years. (I've written about some of these learnings on my blog...)
Links:
Brendon C
Director of Finance and Development at Northwest Yearly Meeting of Friends
Seems to me that the question is less important than the response to the answer.
Ask any of the questions that have already been listed, heck, ask any old question at all. But as they answer, <em>listen</em>. Really listen. And respond with care. The careful response shows evidence of listening to the answer. And the careful (read as "full of care" rather than "cautious") response digs deeper into the heart of the answer and the heart of the respondent.
Des W
Social Media Strategist
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G'day Phil
Well, that question you've asked would be an excellent one, for starters. :)
Two questions I've found get others (and me) going are:
"So how did you get into this line of business?"
"If money was no object, and you could do whatever you wanted to do, what would that be?"
I always like to ask people why they choose the career they have and if they would continue to do that job if they won the lottery.
Spencer H
President at Hill Asset Management/Managing Director at University Retirement Specialists
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"What's your passion?"
"What is most important to you?
'
What's your mission?
Scott K
Real Estate Advisor, Liability Mgt, Asset Protection, & Transparency Coach, Custom Web Conferencing Solutions Specialist
Phil, hat a great question! As evidenced by the number of responses, many see value in YOUR QUESTION! As I read the responses from your friends and colleagues, I couldn't help think at how thoughtful and creative the responses were. What a great network you have!
Perhaps some would agree that "getting to know someone better" means different things to different people. With that in mind, before I share my own experiences with you, help us understand, what's important about "getting to know someone better," to you Phil?
All my best questions are "lame" ones that just get people talking - the more vague, the better - you can tell a lot about people by where they go in response to vague questions.
Some starters, for example:
* So, what do you like to do?
* How'd you get here?
* What've you been up to?
* What's the most exciting thing that happened to you this week?
All very inane, but I find that harder / more specific ones get people focused on the question rather than opening up. After all, do any of these make you feel stressed or "put on the spot"?
Good question, by the way, Phil!
