The best way to do that is first to interact with the person online and gain credibility. Then when you have the occasion to meet, such as being in the same town or at the same conference, arrange to meet. That could be as simple as 'lets catch up after the conference for 15 minutes' or invite them to dinner or lunch.

The advantage of business social networks like Linked'in, Viadeo or Xing is that you see the profile of a person in your network, their recommendations, who knows them that you also know and what they have said in forums etc. That can allow you to judge whether you want to meet with that person.

It is the same when you propose to meet with someone you have previously met on an online platform. The other person will judge you on all the above.

The effectiveness will depend on the other persons view of the merits of networking - some people do not want to network or meet people that are not already in their circle of confidence (they already have too many friends/business contacts and use these networks as a means to 'keep in touch' rather than make new contacts) and you will have to respect that. The same way you cannot force someone to be you contact on Linked'in (or you can remove an unwanted contact) you cannot force someone to meet with you. You will have to deal with geography and the realities of that other persons schedule.

Developing a network online requires some effort but that effort becomes worthwhile if you can meet offline or engage in regular communication - which may become a business partner, client, supplier or simply a friend and a source of information, advice and referrals.

It also depends on what you are looking for. If your requests are targetted, reasonable and of interest to the other person then you should be able to move up the relationship value chain. If your request is motivated by 'buy my product' or 'give me a job' type reasons then people will be less likely to want to meet you.

posted May 5, 2007

In my own industry, we tend to be geographically distant and keep in touch via e-mail, for the most part. When I travel, I try to find out who lives or is doing a project in an area I'm travelling to to have supper together. This seems to help keep our interest alive with regard to staying in touch. However, I find that people who have a more local network are less likely to be willing to take the time to meet people they'd seldom see.

For the people that are local to me, the key seems to be to actually pick up the phone. For me, I find that if the conversation seems stilted that we don't end up keeping in-touch. Or, I find that we have such a deep conversation that we agree to meet for coffee. Coffee is a good way to meet if one or both are extremely busy, as you can meet before the workday starts, for example.

Although I do maintain entirely e-mail relationships with people across the world within my own industry, have known them for years and feel close to some of them, most friendships or business relationships don't seem to get off the ground or survive without meeting in-person. Phone conversations seem to be the minimum requirement, and sometimes not sufficient, either.

According to the book "Bowling Alone," when we merely meet people electronically, we don't feel as close to them, are more suspicious of them, and are less honest with them. So, if you set a date and time to meet someone you don't know well, do it by phone rather than just e-mail. They'll be more likely to show up.

posted May 5, 2007

For me, I've been building real relationships to people I met electronically, going back to early networks on the seventies. One key thing, I believe, is being perceived as a giver, not a taker. At one point, this meant answering questions on USENET, although that's much less relevant today. I contribute to various mailing lists both for technology education (general networking and Cisco), as well as professional lists in network engineering/standards development & emergency medicine and intensive care. I also participate in lists for more personal things, such as cats, and hope eventually to find one for developing my sketching/drawing.

When I was a road warrior giving mostly Cisco seminars, there was rarely a city in which I didn't know someone. Once I knew my schedule, I'd try to set up a dinner--not too much as those seminars were strenuous. From involvement in international standards and engineering groups, I literally can find someone I know almost anywhere in the world. Indeed, when I've run into technical problems in the middle of the night, it's comforting to know that a colleague in Australia, Korea, or Japan is apt to be awake and answering email.

posted May 5, 2007

Daniel,

I think that if you are a true networker and have the gift of gab that it takes to meet people anyway, you can get to know people here. Here are a few suggestions.

Answers section:

Ask and answer as many questions as you can (but don't just ask questions that are just plugs or dead ends). Respond to peoples answers (especially the ones you think are very bright and intuitive. I have developed a few relationships this way. It is not like working directly with someone or going to a game, but you can develop an open communication. LinkedIn, Yahoo and other sites have these kinds of services built in.

Look at local or special interest groups:

Find groups that are in your area and have open networking events. These usually involve food and alcohol to help the session along. There are lots of these groups. I know of some that have been around since the 70's, long before the internet.

Maintain a blog on what you know or like:

Some say that Blogs are loosing their appeal. But, a well maintained one can develop a strong following. From this, you can develop networking and business relationships. Be careful with this one though. It can be a lot of work to keep up a blog. I personally have tried 3 times and have never gotten it off the ground.

Links:

• http://www.houstonnetworkingnews.com/default.asp?Mode=DirectoryDisplay&id=1...
• http://jjsmart.com/home1/index.php?cPath=44_38
• http://www.cityscope.net/community/

posted May 5, 2007

HI Daniel,

To build Real, Meaningful Relationships that would become Sustainable Ones, "One must be basically comfortable with oneself, before one tries to be comfortable with any other". The same holds good for any relationship that began on LI, or for that matter, through any other Internet platforms.

Simple ‘Mantras’ I follow in life are,
To expect nothing out of any relationship;
Share whatever you can share with every one without any reservations;
Be always warm & friendly, on or off the net.
Be honest & transparent in all your dealings;

If anyone follows the above four cardinal principle of relationship, every relationship s/he forms on or off the net OR graduated form the former to the latter would, invariably, result in meaningful & sustainable ones.

Have a Nice Weekend!

posted May 5, 2007

Hi Daniel,

The only way to build a relationship with those in your network is to get to know them. Emails, chats telephone etc. As Bruce mentioned ask what YOU can do for THEM. It takes a lot of time and energy to build a strong network and the rewards will come in time. Rewards are not always monetary in nature. Sometimes it is simply knowing you helped someone else. Unless your network is small you aren't going to know everyone on a personal level, but you can get to know quite a few rather well.

The other thing is to start a linkedin live group in your area. Some of us here did that yesterday and it looks quite promising.

Sheilah

posted May 5, 2007

As a matter of fact I don't see any distinctions/differences AT ALL between developing quality IRL relationships or cyberspace relationsshipsl.

In a cynical perspective one need to contribute/give something to the counterparty that is percived as a value. What that particular value is, is for you to define or find out; It may be as simple as leissure or quality time to sales leads/contact or actual help as tech know how etc.

In addition one need to be there consistently over time.

I will actually take a stand and state, thats the way any relationships evolves into a sound one. As a comparision, how many meaningful IRL relationsships have you developed for the last quarter? Whatever you do in IRL bring it to the cyberspace. At the end of the day "meaningful" relationships is your definition, whatever that is, it's not nesseccarily anyones elses definition.

What I do think differ is that in cyberspace the number of contacts are infinite, with that in mind one needs to communicate CRISP & CLEAR why someone else should develop a "meaningful" relationsships with you.

Because you as a person are competing with any other infotainment thats out there...its not as intense as your IRL buddy knocking on your door asking for that pub companionship. You can be turned of or dropped in the junk mail folder without emotions.

Make it a great day,
Richard

posted May 5, 2007

I dive-tackle them into doing contract recruiting for our company... ;)

Really, though, I think you have to make an effort to get together with your network, and... well, network. I think if you make a trip to Houston, you need to see who in Houston within your network wants to get together for a bite to eat.

I make an effort, whenever I travel, to reach out to those in my network. It's great when it works, and we all gather under one roof.

posted May 5, 2007

It really depends on each individual with whom you've had contact. For example in my industry as a Virtual Assistant many of the VAs I have developed relationships with are done via a chat forum where we literally chat to each other on a daily basis about different things, i.e. how to handle a particular client, how to manage family and business and so on. The same applies for most of the other circles I mix in - regular contact and discussion about all sorts of things.

Along the way you'll become aware of someone's personal need and you can contact them direct (that is not via a forum) and offer them suggestions, solutions, or even just some comforting words if it's needed.

Just yesterday I had a lady contact me because she's coming from Canada to Australia to promote a new product. She read about me in an article recently published online. Whilst I'm not interested in joining her buisness I can certainly help introduce her to other people so we've been discussing her needs via email. Naturally I've told her about LinkedIn and she has joined as a result.

Building relationships can be done electronically as well as face-to-face. Perhaps a bit more effort needs to be applied because it's the written word without the body language, but can be done - I've been doing it for years.

posted May 5, 2007

Daniel,
You have touched on a very important issue judging from the responses. I agree with most of what has been said so far. Relationships take time to build. In my networking, I approach with the intention to "serve". What can I do to positively impact this person’s existence? From the simplest things (like responding to a question) to more specific questions requiring some expertise.

How do I communicate this?
With those I meet virtually, and they are local, I make the effort to meet them in person. With those that live in other regions, state or countries, there are a myriad of ways to connect by text, voice, pictures and videos (I have not tried telepathy). If I am traveling to an area where I have contacts, I arrange to meet up, even if it is for a brief moment. That face-to-face contact no matter how brief goes a long way in cementing a relationship.

posted May 5, 2007

Greetings Daniel,

Building relationships is based on communication. LinkedIn is the starting point--it allows people to be known and provides a good method for contact/initial communication. Where it goes from this point depends on the two people interacting. Naturally, the quality of the relationship will be to the extent that both individuals want to contribute in building the relationship.

In my case, I like communicating with someone on the phone. I feel I can get to know someone faster this way.

Second, I will always try to meet someone face to face if at all possible. I have made trips to the airport to meet someone that was coming through Houston or Dallas and visit with them at the airport. We both saved time and took advantage of practical opportunities.

Third, building relationships is similar to growing a plant. You start out with a seed, you water, feed and nurture the plant during growth. The same is true with relationships. This requires time and effort.

In summary, I have turned electronic relationships into substantial relationships using the steps above. The key is that it takes some effort and mutual consideration by both people to build a mutual relationship.

Good Question, Daniel. Thanks for asking. All the best...Joe

posted May 5, 2007

I think an important thing to keep in mind is that social media is only one preliminary step in a process of relationship building. I used LinkedIn to give me names of people and basic information about them, and that's it. I don't expect to have a deep relationship with anyone on this site any more than if I spent 15 seconds with them exchanging business cards at a networking function. You have to have a reason to interact with someone and create a lasting relationship, and even then it takes time. It's my impression that not a lot of people are on this site for chit-chat, they want to do business.

I feel that if someone expects a site like LinkedIn to be their one-stop-shop for instant substantial social relationships, as opposed to one tool in an overall strategy of getting to meet people you don't know, they will usually be disappointed.

posted May 5, 2007

My take is to find the "Connective Tissue" and use that to forge a real-life introduction. Professionally as others have mentioned, this is relatively simple, as there is a good chance to get to a conference, listen to the same speaker at a seminar, or work on a project together.

During those activities, however, it is imperative to meet outside the context of the professional agenda. So an invite to your linked in connections mentioning that you'll be at x conference, and then arranging a more social activity (coffee, meal etc) to get to know the other person.

Outside of the pure professional connection, however, this could be more difficult. But again, what is the "connective tissue?" Is it a common friend, common interest, or something more intangible like having been involved with the same company at the same time, without a direct connection.

Finally, use technology wherever possible to create and maintain contact - skype, live messenger, live meeting, etc etc

Links:

• http://www.livemeeting.com
• http://messenger.live.com
• http://www.skype.com

posted May 5, 2007

like you would with any other relationship. get to know them better and decide from there if you want a relationship with them. of course it's hard if you're on one continent and they're on another. write them, call them, send pictures. if you want to take it further, set up a meeting somewhere. there are many airfare wars going on now. take it from there. good luck.

posted May 5, 2007

I think building relationships is a lot like dating. Propriety has a lot to do with it. Going too far too fast gives people concern that "something's not right." Ask a (good) question directly by email. Exchange emails. If there is receptivity, try a phone call. If there's chemistry, try a cup of coffee... etc. Remember, you must first offer value to the network before you can expect it to deliver to you. By the way, good question.

posted May 5, 2007

I try to make "real"-life contact - talk over the phone, meet and keep communication: sharing ideas and knowledge, help where possible, bridge to other people who can help. All without much expectation.
Important is to be open to network, to receive requests and be willing to share - I think this is how you crate credibility and gain trust. If you got that, you can take it forward. My profile tells interested people what I have to offer, as well as what I seek, so if business interests meet, actions will happen and relationships can be build.

posted May 5, 2007

I email the Linkedin member if I can locate the email address, suggesting a phone contact or meeting. I do that mostly with the folks in my same geographic area (Washington DC/Northern Virginia).

Usually I try to go direct rather than through a Linkedin referral, having found that referrals for networking purposes rather than referrals for more specific things (like job applications) are much less likely to be acted on.

I've also asked people to help me build a list of DC area networking organizations which I will soon be updating (see link).

Links:

• http://www.ddmcd.com/area_networking/

posted May 6, 2007

It's not often that I have a simple answer. I often create complicated, sophisitcated answer that only I could have ever derived...more than you needed to know. This one is simple. The Bible speaks of your 'spirit' bearing witness. Your the answer to your question is a 4 step process.

1. examine your motives
2. demonstrate intent, not technique...people respond to heartfelt intent and reject even the best technique.
3. realize that if you be you, real, that people will see that and be attracted.
4. let it flow.
5. issues with steps 2-4, start back at 1.

simple as that.

posted May 6, 2007

Daniel

My Linkedin network is approx 1500 people with 30% of them people that I met strictly online. My intention in contacting the people that I did not know was 3-fold
• If they were fellow Realtors, I now had a new friend to pass on relocation clientele
• Business/Life Coaches, Military and Aviation professionals share my values of service and excellence. (When I travel, I contact them to dine with me and I also invite them to my seminars, and I reciprocate if they are in the DFW area)
• Technology pros could be hired to render their professional service, thereby a win-win relationship was formed.

No matter where I meet people, online or offline, I use the FORD model to determine if I will proceed. (FORD – family, occupation, recreation and dreams) If we are compatible, I will call, email, write, acknowledge birthdays, anniversaries, etc. – basically, nurturing the relationship.

Marc Freedman of DallasBlue.com is a genius when it comes to bringing people together – email him and expand your vision of what is possible with merging the online with the online while creating value at the same time. Consider starting an in-person Linkedin Happy Hour in your home town.

To quote and agree with my online colleague Eileen Parzek "Of course, another benefit to building relationships on the web is that the referral field gets a lot broader - if you're good at what you do, build trustworthy, professional yet personable alliances, usually your customers and colleagues will have no qualms about giving one of their customers or friends into your care. And if your business relies on word of mouth like mine does, you simply can't afford to operate any other way."

Daniel, you deserve to be rich whenever you create value in other people's lives, so share yourself fully in all that you do and people will see your heart. I believe that GOD is my Source, my Supply and Strength ..I trust that I am always in the right place, at the right time with the right people- and I usually AM!


Blessings to you
Kadena Tate-Simon
http://www.RealtyCoaching.com

Links:

• http://www.businessdesignstudio.com/resources/articles/goldenrule.html

posted May 6, 2007

First, if you've "LinkedIn" to them, you should already have something in common .. start with that thread to build from .. a like industry? .. a like interest? .. when so many are so widely (geographically) dispersed, often the best opportunity to actually connect, in person, might be at a common event, like a conference or trade show .. say you're each into IT, then that would be a likely event for everyone to connect, even if only to be in the same town and do a lunch and a tour .. what you may have to overcome is those who are really "internet" personalities and less likely to do the in-person event thing but that's a start! Once you get past that, it's the simple rule of "to have a friend -- be a friend" .. it applies to networking and reciprocity is key!! Marietta

posted May 7, 2007

I agree with Sheilah - the best way to build REAL relationships is to get to know people.

And this should start from the very first contact.

I send a 'Thank you' e-mail to each & EVERY person I connect with.

In my view, THIS is the way to truly build a network - by INTERACTING with your new friends, rather than just counting the number of connections.

Remember, each new connection is a real, live PERSON, not a faceless statistic.

You'd be surprised at the pleasant & stimulating responses you will receive from people - often catalysing genuine friendships or business relationships.

Then once you've established some common ground - STAY IN TOUCH.

A quick, intense flurry of e-mails followed by a defening silence is a bit like a one-night stand - people need to fee valkued & thrive on constant attention & interaction.

The more frequent your interaction, the deeper the relationship.

Good luck with your endeavours - you obviously have a genuine interest in people, which is a great start.

Stan Relihan
srelihan@gmail.com <= Open Networker!

posted May 8, 2007

Hello Daniel,
I think a best practice is MilanIn. This is a real-world club meeting regularly in Milan, Italy. Participation is offered to people already in LinkedIn and subject to the MilanIn board validation. Activities include seminars, entrepreneur presentations, and cocktails.... a good networking platform.

I'm including the link to the site in engligh language, in case you're interested.

Cheers,
Luca

Links:

• http://www.milanin.com/egroupware/sitemgr/sitemgr-site/General?lang=en

Luca V also suggests this expert on this topic:

• Pier Carlo P

posted May 10, 2007

I can say about my experience. I am trying to create my networking on the same job and interests area. Much of my net, I know it personally, and another part is connected through Skype. I would accept other suggestions to make stronger the net.

posted May 5, 2007

It seems natural to find out who is in what association, where they go to obtain knowledge and I would really start with one person at a time, looking to help them or build rapport with them vs. trying to build relationships with dozens at a time. One at a time...

posted May 5, 2007

How about a contrarian view? I'm not sure that the distinction you've offered between electronic and real, substantial relationships is a valid one. What makes a relationship "real?" I understand the hesitatancy about electronic dialogue expressed by another respondent, but I have discovered immense food for thought and a sense of wonder about the global community of ideas which is enabled through the Internet. I personally find that sense of community enormously rewarding.

As a recruiter who works all day on the phone and e-mail in building and renewing relationships which last for a few minutes each time, but are built over years and decades, the trust is there. I share the comment about "giving" as the starting point of these relationships and - strangely enough - I think this "service" perspective is even more important is electronic dialogue. Otherwise the communication - and therefore the relationship - is focused on a transaction, rather than trust.

These are overlapping, but not concentric circles. I have more substantial relationships with some people with whom my dialogue has been entirely electronic than "real". That's the exception, but true nevertheless. My sense is that there are thousands of stories people could share of how electronic relationships have been life-changing. That could even be another blog site! Certainly the process of distilling one's thoughts into a sentence or a paragraph can create enormous impact on the life and thought and action of another person. And that's certainly "substantial", albeit less social. After all, that's what books have done for millenia.

Provided that we find ways to give and take ideas, honesty, integrity and enthusiasm in our relationships, they can provide nurture and value to us and to those we're in contact with, regardless of how these relationships are initiated or maintained.

posted May 5, 2007

Internet networking through forums like LinkedIn are a start, but they can never be a replacement for face-to-face meetings. Once you have a person in your LinkedIn database, reach out to them and ask how YOU can help THEM. Perhaps start with a phone call, then arrange to meet. There will be many people in your LinkedIn network that don't need you now, but some where down the road, they might. Just keep in touch with these people every so often.

bruce.kane.linkedin@gmail.com
open networker: http://www.linkedin.com/in/brucekane

posted May 5, 2007

To create a meaningful lasting connection, an individual must build trust through the purposeful sharing of the human experience.

This means you must talk about what is personally important to you. In addition, you need to display empathy, care, and interest through the utilization of active listening skills when another individual shares personal perspective.

This will not only spark dialogue, but it will create an opportunity for the birth of a meaningful, lasting relationship.

posted May 5, 2007