Carter F. S
Educator, Consultant, Coauthor The Emergence of The Relationship Economy
Who does Social Networking better -- guys or gals?
As we noted in The Emergence of The Relationship Economy, there is good reason to think that networking comes naturally for women. Traits that have traditionally been identified in our culture as feminine (cooperating, building relationships, helping, and developing others) are also those necessary in networking, as opposed to the classical masculine notions of directing and controlling.
In a recent Business Week article, Auren Hoffman tells us to . . . Expect social networks of the future to cater to women and alienate men. http://tinyurl.com/5u5vq I have always suspected that the ladies "get" the social part of social networking (and online learning interaction) a heckuva lot better than us guys.
What do you think?
If you have testimonials I can use (in other professional public forums), please include your permission in your post, otherwise I'll leave it here. I may have to update Chapter 12 of the book!
Clarification added May 19, 2008:
The link to the above Business Week article (The Social Media Gender Gap) is http://www.businessweek.com/technology/content/may2008/tc20080516_580743.htm
Good Answers (8)
Melissa W
Managing Partner- Web Site Developer, Internet Marketing / Speaker & Trainer at NewWard Development, LLC
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In Social marketing /networking the key to success lies in finesse and subtlety. When you make a friend on a social network (facebook, myspace, et al) you don’t slam them over the head with your offer, business idea or services. Take some time – dance the dance… call it foreplay. But take the time to learn whether or not what you have to offer is something your new friend is going to benefit from before inviting them to bed. Most women are better at the slow dance, talking, getting to know, comparing tastes, taking quizzes, etc…. then most men. Try and hit up your friends with a “wham bam” and you’ll find yourself friendless before too long.
On the flip side: Note that since more women flock to these sites – advertising dollars will be devoted to attracting their attention. It’s interesting to watch the 35 – 50 female being courted (a demographic I happen to fall into), as they are the fastest growing segment of social networking sites. Never have I see so many ads for “finding the one” targeted to the single woman in her 40’s as I have on facebook… kind of fun to be the golden goose for a change
Links:
Frank C. M
Owner and CEO of Martin Research, and Martin Focus Group Services, Inc.
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Hi Carter! What a great question! Here is my $.02.
I guess the way to start would be to define what we mean by "doing social networking better". Is it the establishment of friendships and relationships that (might) lead to business, but it's OK if they don't?
Or is defined more quantitatively, as in the amount of business acquired from contacts within a particular network?
While generalizations are always dangerous, and discrimination based upon generalizations is reprehensible, my experience suggests that women would be inclined to believe the first definition, while men would opt for the second. Much of this basic goal difference has to do with the way the individual genders are conditioned by our society, but I think also it has to do with the way we are wired.
So with this in mind, perhaps both genders are getting exactly what they need from social networking.
The flip side is that we cannot fairly come up with one standard of "better" that applies equally to everyone, or even to both genders!
That said, I also believe we have so much to learn from each other. Many of my female colleagues and my wife "do social networking" so much better than I do, but I'm learning by watching. Twitter also presents the opportunity to watch networking within the constraint of 140 characters at a time - a limit that may seem to favor the traditional male style - although in fairness some of the best Tweeters are women who do it their way - Pistachio (Laura Fitton), Connie Reece, Meg Fowler,and Karen Swim all manage to develop significant relationships with followers and I would bet also have received a lot of referral business from Twitter friends. Very interesting study in sociology there!
Anyway Carter, thanks for the question! I enjoyed the mind grapple!
Frank
The demographic data of social networking sites does show higher participation by women....so far. The exception to this is the Ning platform so it would be interesting to identify the types of niche social sites that men are participating on. I've also found Twitter to be more skewed towards men - but this could be a sign of early adopters and those playing in the twittershpere...as well as my own interests. Ultimately, there will be differences around age and gender - and research has shown its harder to engage younger males - but this is not just social networking its much broader. As more people engage in social media and networks become more defined in niche areas it will be interesting to see what trends emerge.
Carter,
The answer to your question depends upon how one frames social networking.
From a "social" perspective, women may be more inclined to participate in social networking.
On the other hand, men who acknowledge the value of social networking as a "marketing" function will be likely to jump on board and use it to further their personal and/or business marketing objectives. Time, rather than $$, could get alloted for this function within the scope of marketing.
Discussion of this in our office brought out that there are both men and women within our LinkedIn "connections" who make broad use of there LinkedIn network.
Paul Martinez
http://www.burkhardtresearch.com
Gary E
Actively Seeking New Opportunities in Information Assurance/Risk Management- 7450 LinkedIN Connections!!!
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Carter,
Again a wonderful and insightful question that you have asked!!!
First, I would like to define better. What is the definition of better? People do things to satisfy needs. Social needs, emotional needs, financial needs, etc. Think of Maslov's Heirarchy of needs!!!. So better can only be defined in relation to what are the objectives of the individual in participating in social networks.
Do men and women satisfy their needs differently? Definately so.
Realizing that generalities are not always true, women socialize more often to get am emotional satisfaction from connecting with others. Men more often socialize for a specific performance objective. This is also true in salary and in power needs fulfillment. Women tend to want to feel good at their jobs. Men want more money and they don't really care how they feel!!! Men want power and control and women want to be a part of a group that accepts them.
From a team building perspective: Women are more collaborative team builders. While men tend to be more Command and Control team oriented.
Various industries and even company silo's have different socialization patterns. Some call it culture. Other call it behaviors. Various sites will cater to these type of satisfaction driven behavior objectives, which can be irrespective of gender.
I know that my female friends on LinkedIN and Twitter are very good at what they do, they can compete with any man I know in their areas of knowledge and a few, like a Sr. IT Project Manager female friend can take a no prisoners approach like any command and control male that I know. But to do this well, all of my female social networking friends connect with you on a certain emotional level. Women trust at this feeling level. The men don't care about emotions. They want to control and be able to trust you- get you to follow their requests. Men are goal oriented and want to fulfill an objective. Emotions may even get in the way of their fulfilling their objectives. When people say that they are mission oriented, it is not a touchy feely emotional world they are discussing, and a mission oriented site will attract more men and some women who can compartmentalize their emotions as men tend to do.
So the answer is that it depends on how the social networking site is set up and what type of social or needs fulfillment that the site provides. Emotional satisfaction vs. goal completion satisfaction. (and other gratification schemas). The sites that satisfy their customers will be the ones that survive and thrive...
Roland H
Owner/CEO at Palmtree Software Development Ltd.
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Please, define "doing social networking better".
More friends? More posts? More links? More enemies?
Or... reaching a definite goal?
If you define "better" as the former, women are probably ahead - especially women with an attractive avatar, or profile picture, they tend to attract the male user population somehow.
With the latter, I would say it's even. Among the most active networkers I find about the same amount of women/men whether on Twitter, Jaiku, Pownce, Facebook, iWIW.
As people said, it boils down to personality.
But, I agree with Tabinda too: Women are better at initiating the contact. I experienced it not only on social network sites but on several online games. But, not only because women are better at initiating it, but because others starts to talk to the more readily.
When they are in the flow however, guys and girls are equal in my experience.
To Marietta:
"if there are 3 people, in the waiting room, all waiting to see the same Manager, and it has time to see only 1 of them, and there are 2 men and 1 attractive woman -- she'll get the audience with him first"
Does the fact that a man picks the attractive woman and not the two other guys proves that girls are better at social networking, or that man generally pick attractive women above other guys if they want to talk with someone?
Impressing an attractive woman is a better way to pass time than talking with other men.
And what if there are 2 girls and 1 guy and the manager is a woman? Or two black haired and one blond guy?
Being distinct in any way makes it easier to pick out 1 person from the other 3.
Clarification added May 21, 2008:
But women have more practice with being distinct.
So they have an advantage there.
*I hate touchpads*
Tony R
Owner, Tesar-Reynes. A retained search firm in the area of integrated marketing communications.
Best Answers in: Education and Schools (1), Career Management (1)
Carter,
I suspect that you may be on an interesting track. I have two observations for you.
1. This may be a generational thing, but I firmly believe that women DO communicate better than men because they can use the entire human experiential spectrum: from fact to emotional self-awareness. Us guys are at a real disadvantage in this arena because we were not socialized this way. The alternative is expensive bouts of therapy.
2. The term "social networking" or "social media", from my point of view, is much-used and much-misunderstood. I deal with people every day that are supposed to get it. They don't! Many believe that social media is another medium to buy to extend reach. Others give lip support to sound with it. Very few realize the implications that are going on right under our nose.
I understand that this whole area is morphing. I think you, as a thought leader, need to help the world (particularly advertising) understand and be able to define this phenomenon.
Tony Reynes.
Jennifer D
Vice President, Marketing at Planar Systems, Inc
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I think the approach to social media is similiar to how the different genders shop. Women get dressed up to go shopping (never know who you will see), are content browsing without a defined purpose in mind, and find unexpected treasures. Men go as they are, shop with a mission in mind, and treat it less like a hobby than a task to be completed. I understand that is a wild and gross stereotype (as I know plenty of women who shop with the intense focus of a sniper and plenty of men who could wander in a sporting goods store for hours), but the patterns are there.
In terms of alienating men, I would like to think that social networks will evolve to the point that they don't have to be everything to everyone. Unlike retail stores that can't be both "perfumy and soft" and "hard-edged and modern", websites can. The same databases can be presented in many different ways with different types of member connections and communciation types. Why wouldn't someone take advantage of this to create networks that network so that everyone can have the benefit of the larger participation... giving and taking what they wish? I suspect this is one of the promise of OpenID and other such initiatives.
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Jim W
Talent Acquisition Manager
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Like everything else, with the exception of writing your name in the snow, women will outpace and out perform men on the social networking sites.
A good example are the dating sites. Look at profiles completed by women vs men. More complete and they also have drilled down to what they are exactly looking for. Whereas men put as a preference: breathing
Amanda C
Mechanical Design Engineer at Inergi
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I wouldn't surprise me if women are more successful social networkers simply because (in general) women use language to bond. Men who bond with their friends by "hanging out" will find that difficult to replicate online.
I don't think it is solely (or even mostly) a gender based division though. I would expect personality traits (extroversion vs introversion, for example) and generation would also play large roles.
Marietta C
Executive Director, Friedman & Wexler, LLC - Collection Law Firm - Consumer/Commercial
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By experience: I have to say women .. if I'm going to set to people on a crowd and see who makes the most headway -- it's going to be a woman .. historically, statistics show that if there are 3 people, in the waiting room, all waiting to see the same Manager, and it has time to see only 1 of them, and there are 2 men and 1 attractive woman -- she'll get the audience with him first (and if anyone has the link to that, have at it -- I can't find it at the moment!) ..
My opinion, and obviously someone else's! Best .. Marietta
Deborah B
Effective and Creative Blogger, Marketing Writer and Consultant
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I think it's generational not gender based. Younger men are on Facebook in droves, as are younger women. It plays to introversion--makes people appear more extroverted.
Guido S
Business expert
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Carter,
if we are talking in general, I would agree that, in general, gals are betteer "wired" to connect socially.
However, in business, economy and politics, guys have been socializing for centuries, therefore they may have an experience advantage, in my opinion.
I suspect that this is one of the reasons why Hillary Clinton may not get the democratic nomination.
Just my 2 cent opinion, of course.
Paige D
Clinical Specialist at Medtronic Neuromodulation
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In my experience I would say gender neutral......it all depends on if you are targeting those that REALLY are looking to network and your reasons for connecting are the same.
it has nothing to do with gender.....people perceive that girls are better due to their talkative nature...however boys are equally good and especially, so it will all depend on one's attitude
Tabinda A
Head Of Business Development at Ephlux
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Women are definitely better and more active when it comes to social networking. Mainly because socializing is built in them by nature, they have been programmed to be more submissive, often good listeners and easy to get along as women tend to open up more easily as compared to men.
You would agree that to be a good networker you need to be someone people can recall easily, and by nature again women make explicit efforts to stand out in one way or other.
Its not that men aren't good at networking but the point is that women have an advantage in initiating a social relationship, afterwards it’s upon the capabilities of the individual to take the relation any further or make it a disaster right away.
WSI C
Own the World's #1 Rated Internet and Technology Franchise
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This is all true, but here is my answer to your question.
Currently at WSI we are entering the social networks for marketing our franchise ( Facebook, mySpace, Ryze, Konnects...) and it is true, women are more attracted to social networking, relationship building etc.. but Men on social networks are there for reasons. Looking for a partner, looking for a job, an opportunity. They are always looking for something. Women are there mostly to browse around, contact friends, meet new people, moslty because they are bored.
Men see a goal in being on a social network.
Women spice up their profiles, with fancy pictures, fancy and attractive applications but men keep it simple, they add in the basics, they dont want to stand out too much as it may not attract anybody.
I am on mySpace right now contacting a few people and it happends a few times that I pop into that profile where it seems like i just entered a Disney World. The whole computer screen pops out with glitter and animations.
Most of the profiles created by women are to build attention while Mens profiles are made to show what they are there for.
Dont listen to me, go look for your self.
Also another thing. I believe that businesses will soon jump into social networking more then they are right now.
It will be a competition between businesses, men and women.
Dont they even have Animal social networks? Facebook
I couldn't tell you who is better at it but I can certainly tell you that more men are doing it. As a young female business owner I am finding it close to impossible to find others like me. The majority of people I am seeing are men.
Ravi K
Sales and Marketing professional
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Depends where ? Online or Offline !!!
You know the answer then :)
Best
Ravi
