In reflection I can see that people such as my father, mother, three past partners, two pastors, my wife and, of course, the Word of God, have greatly influenced me and shaped my personality. I haven't given much though to individuals who have contributed negatively to my personality. That, my friend, may take a certain amount of courage to pursue.

posted October 1, 2007

Yes, they are very important to a person's personal hapiness and professional success. The key thing is that it takes an honest, appreciative and relationship-based personality on the part of the person who has such mentors and role models in their lives. The book, "The Trusted Advisor" touches upon this, basically saying that it takes both parties to form a trusted relationship and, hence, trusted advisor relationship.

posted October 1, 2007

I can say with confidence, if I had ever had any of these things in my life, most likely I could have capitalized on the talents I was blessed with before turning 50. I now coach others to help them not waste their talents. Mentors/Coaches/(good)Role Models - PRICELESS!!!

posted October 1, 2007

Unquestionably, YES! There is a ton of literature available on the importance, impact, and influence of coaches/mentors, in all walks of life. I've personally benefitted a number of times and in a number of ways from people in my family, people I went to school with, and people I have worked with. These people and my interaction with them, over the years, have helped positively shape the way I think, speak, interact, etc. The funny thing is that its not just people who influence your thinking, lifestyle, and demenour but also events (Ex. 9/11), movies (Ex. Schindler's List), books (Ex. The Speed of Trust), and one's faith (Ex. Hinduism).

In my professional endevours, though I've had formally assigned coaches and mentors, I've always been in favor of getting coached/mentored (or coaching/mentoring) in a less structured and informal manner. Although structure ensures that all "growth areas" of an individual are being covered, it tends to create an atmosphere where people are not able to open up or end up speaking in a manner based on their preconcieved notions.

There is lots to write about on this topic but not enough time. I look forward to reading comments/thoughts from other Link(ed)-ers.

posted October 1, 2007

lionel

of course they are very important. actually more so today in this world of nuclear families.

the most important however would be role models. actions they say speak louder than words.

sayeed

posted October 1, 2007

Yes, I believe they are very important in an evolved society. We are not genetically coded to handle life’s challenges correctly. While some creatures are born able to crawl away from the egg and negotiate life successfully from there, the more evolved creatures require someone to show them how to approach problems, which problems to avoid, and where to seek improvement.

Each person we interact with, good or bad does leave an impression. There are those that we wish to be like that we seek to emulate. There are those that we do not want to be anything like, and we try and distance ourselves from their behavior. Even those that are quiet and non-descript are role models, either as someone to not follow for those that like attention and notice, or someone to emulate for those that are not comfortable in the spotlight of attention.

To me Coaches are those that actively seek to spread their influence and guidance to others. Mentors are those that are available to help when asked, and Role models just do what they do best and others watch and learn from them, often without any active interaction.

I think that LinkedIn’s greatest asset is that it brings together coaches, Mentors and Role-models to a location where those in need of a few pointers can access then in a friendly environment. I certainly have benefited from the counsel of others over the last few months. To all of those individuals I say “THANK YOU!” and hopefully you will keep giving sage advise to others when they post they’re big question.

posted October 1, 2007

Yes, they are important. BUT you should not put them up on a pedestal and try to follow EVERY aspect of someone’s life, for example a person might be great at their job but horrible to his family, wife, friends. So it is Great to emulate that persons professional behaviors but be weary of spending to much time with them, and picking up the other behaviors that are not good. Most people in whole do not make great role models, however in specific aspects of their life they can teach you a whole lot.

Christian are called to be followers of Christ, and try to live and act Christ like, while this is impossible. It is our ongoing goal to become more and more like Christ. Dieing to ones self and picking up our "cross" daily. If you have not read about this historical figure who was the most influential figure of all time actually changing our Calendars from BC, to AD. Then I suggest you read the New Testament starting with Mathew. For people who are intellectual sponges, I suggest two more places for further research. www.RZIM.com and www.thetruthproject.com

posted October 1, 2007

YES without doubt but it is what the individual does with the knowledge imparted/shared by these people that is most important. As with many things, it is about balance and that balance can not always be qualified in a rational sense and the point of balance will be different for most situations and it will change frequently. It is all learning and the Mentor, Coach or Role Model also need to keep learning as they provide their wisdom.Keeping the mind open and the senses alive is key to all of this for everyone.

posted October 1, 2007

Very interesting question....There are those of us that feel, especially when we have quote "mastered a skill", there is no need for coaches & mentors. However, I would question that mindset given some of the most successful ppl still have coaches/mentors to help them navigate thru their careers, life, etc. (i.e. Tiger Woods, Jack Welch........)
Someone that is emotionally disconnected from your day to day & year to year success/lack thereof can give valuable insight into why things are going right, wrong, etc. (sometimes it takes someone that can just ask you questions without giving you all of the answers).
As far as "role" models are concerned....to me "role" is the inoperable word. There are some pretty successful ppl that have excelled in the role of sales person, ceo, actor, athlete, comedian, etc. However, did they excel in ALL of their "roles" in life (father, mother, caregiver, friend, etc.)
Based on some real life experiences and career training, it seems to be a lifelong battle to distinguish your "role" from your true identity... OR are they one in the same? I believe this statement lends even more proof that coaches & mentors are critical to our continued success.

posted October 1, 2007

Mais Oui!! It's that cunundrum too of needing to be constantly working on our insides while we search for meaning and direction with the help of coaches and mentors.

For those of us who actually became official "Coaches" in the professional and life sense, many of us learned that we had been coaching all of our lives already, the schooling just hones and fine tunes these talents supposedly to take the "I" out of it so that we (Coaches) can be fully there for someone without all of our "stuff" getting in the middle of it.

I'd like to explore with you how each one of these people you listed shaped and influenced your life. It is an excellent exercise, Lionel, to ask this question so that we can all look at our lives and pay attention to who is really affecting us.

Another assumption that your question caused me to explore is what if some of the people who have shaped and influenced my life are NOT who I would choose to follow today and how can I become more aware of the influence they have had on me and where I can change those beliefs and patterns.

It's all good. We're all here to learn in this life, glorious life.

posted October 1, 2007

Every journal must have a goal. If our life is the greatest journey then our goal must be to aspire to be like our role models.

The role model provides the goal. The mentor is there to give you encouragement through the tough times and recognition for the good times. The coach is there to help you hone and polish your rough edges.

From another perspective we can see how many people are damaged for lack of these important people in their lives.

This is why I try to be a light for all the people I meet. I am not perfect, but this intention keeps me motivated to do good things in my life.

posted October 1, 2007

Just an observation, but the most successful people I know have a confidant of some sort, be that a coach, mentor, or otherwise. They understand the idea of getting input and understanding from those who have walked the path before them, even the innovators. You know the old saying, "Dumb people make the same mistakes, smart people learn from their mistakes, and brilliant people learn from the mistakes of others".

posted October 1, 2007

From 1990 to 1999, I volunteer for a group called Hugh O'Brian Youth Leadership (HOBY) putting together weekend leadership seminars for high school sophmores. Two of the keynote speakers we used every year were Joan Garbo and Arthur L. Andrews. I still hear them telling me things in my head like Arthur's OQP - Only Quality People or only spend your time with quality people who have similar goals to you as opposed to people who will cut you down. And Joan always told us to thank people that we don't know for things they do for us - like check out girls working on Christmas Eve so we can get that last minute ingredient for our Christmas dinner the next day or the uniformed soldier at the airport who is fighting for all of our rights. Those are things that have stuck with me and changed how I view the world forever.

If I start talking about family members and work colleagues, you'll be reading for a long time. I can't imagine what my life would be like without mentors, role models and coaches.

posted October 1, 2007

Absolutely! They help to inspire and guide people, as well as provide real life experiences to learn from. I agree very much with Lionel Spearman in his assessment of the influences that associates, particularly those we interact with on a regular bassis, have on us. Sometimes even very subtle influences can have a profound affect on us, even much later in our lives.

I don't think we'll ever grasp the significance we have on other peoples lives, nor theirs on ours, but we have to assume it's immense. This brings to mind the classic movie, "It's a Wonderful Life", where Jimmy Stewart's character "George Bailey" realizes how diminished his community would've been had he never existed. Unfortunately, this can sometimes be a negative influence, but even some good can be derived from those instances.

On the whole, I think most of us have a far greater influence on other peoples lives than we can ever fathom. What we can know is that the more we interact with others, the greater that effect will be.

Burt W also suggests this expert on this topic:

• Anthony G

posted October 1, 2007

For me, mentors have been extremely important. I'll try to avoid repeating much of what has already been mentioned. A mentor once told me that I should have a mentor in every area of my life that I want to be successful in, and I have done precisely that. Most of my mentors have not become friends, but are reliable confidants...almost like your relationship may be with your lawyer or banker; a source I go to when I want credible and reliable advice from an experienced source. They are candid and honest and experts in the arena that I targeted them for as a mentor. I've gained value from their years of experience, insight, and even connections. In some instances, they have acted as my personal PR firm in arenas where I have no access. (On the other hand, some have become good friends. )

As a woman of color, I've intentionally made efforts to have mentors who were male and mentors who were of a different ethnicity. This allowed me to reflect on perspectives that I may not have ever considered when making decisions or developing strategies. Also, it expanded my personal networking field and at times, forced me out of my comfort zone.

I've only spoken to an "official" life coach once. I didn't find this as helpful in the way that most people desire. In my experience, the life coach acted as an accountability partner and as someone who assisted people in generally making large decisions, like career aspirations or life transitions. I'm great at creating checklists for myself and mapping out ways to get to my final destination. So, the life coach was not as valuable for me, especially in light of my many mentors. The mentors knew me well enough to provide more accurate opinions based on their insight. Plus, why pay for a life coach when so many people are willing to provide free "been there, done that" advice?

I feel compelled to add this sidebar. As a mentor to others, one thing so many people forget as a mentee is that mentees don't just "take, take, take." You have a responsibility in your relationship with your mentor. and as someone who presumably wants to better themself. Why else would you want the mentor, right?

One, like everyone else, mentors like being on the winning team. Every meeting or interaction with your mentor should not reflect your state of confusion, misery, or stagnation. Exhibit that you are doing your part to be the best at x, y, and z. Come to meetings or send periodic emails with some stories of victory or enlightenment. Volunteer for events that your mentor may be sponsoring or affiliated with. Don't just be a bump on the log and waiting to be spoonfed steps in your life, at least not throughout the whole tenure of your relationship. :) A good mentor understands that you will be in a rut at times, or at a loss...but please don't stay in that state all of the time, or only communicate with them when you are on the downhill swing. Whenever you're given the chance, give good PR for your mentor.

I hope this was useful to someone out there.

posted October 2, 2007

You can and do outgrow your coaches, mentors and role models.
But it's the peer group that keeps me motivated.
To grow out of one and belong to another is the challenge!

posted October 2, 2007

I think this is very important. My business focuses on mentoring others to enhance their potential and in so doing to be more supportive of others. I am always thankful to my parents and especially my mother for her Christian support and strong faith. I am thankful to my mentors at Advantage Conferences who support and encourage me and thus help me to build my business at www.7kfromhomeblessings.com.
Bless you.

posted October 3, 2007

Hi Lionel

Yes they are and most of the other responses touched on reason why. I would like to draw your attention to the difference between them and why all three are different/necessary.

As a management consultant/coach, customers sometimes ask me to help them with their ‘mentorship’ programs. I first response is to say – ‘Yes I can, and the first thing you need to do is change the name of the program!’
• Mentors are chosen by you because you respect and admire them – coaches can be chosen for a specific skills you want to learn or they can be assigned by your organisation (you don’t necessarily have to identify with or respect a coach for who they are but rather for what they know, can do or what they can teach you).
• Your Mentor should be someone who is willing to invest in you without expecting returns – they should care enough to do that. Coaches can teach you stuff, help you with practice and perfecting specific skills and can assign tasks and expect results and commitment from you to ‘work’ at what they ‘teach’.

As such a role model is much like a mentor - the only difference is that you may not know them, have contact with them and you learn from the public-domain about them and from them.

I admire a number of people that I have never met – would love to (although some are dead), but have not had the opportunity to meet them e.g. Nelson Mandela, Tom Peters, John Maxwell, Ron Willingham, Richard Branson, Deepak Chopra, Harvey Mackay, Jan C Smuts, Anton Rupert, Aldus Huxley etc. These people are far from similar but yet there is something in their lives and values that touched me as a person. The best thing to do about role-models like these is to read what they have written or to read about them. Reading is extremely important – read a book a week if you can.

The fact is though that in all probability I will never have the opportunity to have any of the above as a mentor - but there are people around us that share the same qualities as these individuals and that’s who you choose as a mentor (if they are willing to commit to spend at least an hour or two with you from time to time).

The other thing is that you must also remember that ‘trusted’ friends in many ways can be like mentors – but normally you grow together (where in general you look up to a mentor).

Remember coaches comes a dime a dozen (and I am not belittling their contribution – I am also a coach), role-models you can find if you look (read) but it is the special people who are philanthropists of caring - called mentors who to my mind you should treasure.

If someone is willing to be your mentor – please be careful that you don’t misuse their trust, time, commitment etc. – sometimes it’s a fine line!

Regards

Johann

posted October 3, 2007

Definitely. To cite an example in my life, I was in the dark for 2-3 years and thought I was doing pretty well till I found a good mentor and took it up several notches.

I also know engineers/technicians who were hired at the same time with similar profiles. Only one of them succeeded more than the others and I have usually seen that they were
1. More mature and introspective
2. Had a good mentor
3. Had the right opportunities.

A mentor definitely has his place!

posted October 4, 2007

Yes! Start with Marcus Aurelius' "Meditations"; this Roman Emperor acknowledged for his good governance begins by paying respect for his success to his foster-father and his teachers. Perhaps a pity that the current world leader doesn't do the same, but let's stay away from politics.... I've always felt the need for advice from older and wiser people (don't always take it!). The Asian Development Bank has a formal mentoring system for their new staff... excellent idea and we are finding this approach in business - call it capacity building or whatever - very useful.

posted October 6, 2007

Important is an understatement. We are all mentors and role models to each other. Coaches help us in how to apply the lessons and perhaps gives us the opportunity to create new lessons.

posted October 13, 2007

In a personal sense, I have been coaching Children in sports for over 20 years and I find great satisfaction in teaching them the proper way to play sports the correct way. I have always taught teamwork and good sportsmanship for all of these years and I would have parents call me prior to a baseball, softball or basketball season and ask me if their child could play for me again.

That's the greatest compliment I have ever received...

Now many of those children I taught are now playing sports in high school, college and the professional leagues and the lessons they learned from me in the very beginning are setting a path for them for life.

I know... I know.. I'm tooting my own horn, but in my lifetime until now, the greatest thing I have ever given back is what I was taught growing up.

I still keep in touch with many of the parents and former children I coached as they begin their own lives and continue the teachings I bestowed on them.

So do I think being a coach is important? Absolutely... :)

posted October 13, 2007

Hindsight is crystal clear.

A mentor is someone who can save you from blindly repeating the same mistakes they made. In order to receive the benefits of their wisdom, you need to remain "teachable".

posted October 13, 2007

Absolutely, Lionel

Some are life-long mentors, coaches, and role models who we depend on for almost every aspect of our lives. These are our constant sponsors and cheerleaders,like parents and relatives.

Then we have the transcient mentors and coaches who help us attain specific tasks and goals; and role models who we've looked-up to because they define the meaning of a stage we're going through. They are essencial at that moment, yet what they teach us has incredible impact in what we do later.

Like many participating in this conversation, my parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins, and sister have had a degree of influence in my life. Even when the example is negative, they have served as an example of where "not" to go.
The same with different mentors in each stage I've needed one.

What I can say is that the people we value as mentors, coaches, and role models are the ones who, with our best interest at hand, will tell us the truth when we need to hear it. And the emotional or career support we receive from them is always given unconditionally.

posted October 13, 2007

I think almst everyone we deal with in life has an impact on us either directly or indirectly. Many teach us by example others in less subtle ways. We learn the right ways to handle certain situations as well as the wrong ways at time. We also learn from those that show us how we do not want to be.

Many people dismiss those they disagree with or who set bad examples. But I feel they too show usimportant lessons because we are reminded of the ill effects of their actions and can make a choice not to be like them or to treat others the way they do.

In that end every person we encounter is partially responsible for who we are in life.

Sheilah

posted October 13, 2007

Yes. Mentors and coaches are important both personally and professionally. From my mother I learned the importance of giving to others in deeds and materially. From my father, I learned important principles of business.
As a Post Graduate Fellow in Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy at Harvard University, I had the opportunity to be mentored by a number of giants in Psychology, Psychiatry and Clinical Social Work.
George Gardner, MD, Ph.D spent many hours giving me an oral history of psychiatry. Dr. Gardner was one of the psychiatrist who had escourted Sigmond Freud around Clarke College in 1939. Dr.Gardner introduced me to Anna Freud who was then at the Hempstead Clinic in London.
I studied with Bessie Sperry, Ph.D and Robert Young, Ph.D who was the first non-physician member of the Boston Psychoanalytic Institute.
Dr. Julius Richman who had been Surgeon General under Jimmy Carter gave me my first consulting opportunity.
William Collidge, M.D. tutored me on school phobia.
All of these generous professionals served to position me for success.

George Anderson, MSW, BCD

posted October 13, 2007

Critical! Not long ago I watched a documentary about a little girl who at the age of 14, saw daylight and human contact for the first time. It was interesting to watch her with her mentors (her 'parents' were removed from her life forever upon her discovery). It made me realize who very critical to human development we are for one another.

Eileen

posted October 13, 2007

I think the question of the usefulness of Coaches, Role Models and Mentors is one that every successful person takes for granted as a "must have" in the process of being successful.

In more recent years, corporate america, and to some extent global corporates have discovered the usefulness of them to actually create internal programs designed to build, create and support coaching and mentoring within their walls in official capacities.

But an irony to me, is that all too often the need to develop silverbacks from code monkeys in IT - stresses the concept that age has something to do with mentoring capacity and success. Some of my best mentors - were younger than me, and I've been told by those who were my "seniors" that I've mentored them so well we stay in touch long after our professional associations and I continue to coach them as it were.

Mentoring, Coaching, Role Models are people which we carry with us throughout our lives and careers. Their effects on us are often subtle and intangible - until we take stock of our careers and our lives. I'm not sure any corporate program or training fully understands the long term implications or possibilities which successful mentors provide or possess.

They merely are something needed, but not understood well. In todays world of business relationships are broken by time, distance, career path changes and so on. Hence the need and demand for social networking sites like LinkedIn, and on a personal basis MySpace, Facebook and the like.

Ironically, I remember a conversation I had with a good mentor, friend and colleague I had several years ago that the need for such social networks would stem from the disassociations caused by corporate and societal views of individuals as "disposable assets" forcing us all to use Websites and IM and other means to communicate after our mutual partings of the ways business wise.

He passed away in an auto accident a while ago. I miss him, his counsel and his arguments greatly - he was a true visonary and a true friend. He would have been very active here I am sure.

posted October 14, 2007

We all have grown up looking at Sun - enjoying the light and warmth it gives. We all enjoyed the embrace of water - the elixir of life and universal cleaning agent. We all enjoyed the care of nature - the air, fruits, flowers and honey. Without Sun, water and nature around us we would not have existed.

But we grow faster and succeed when we get a right role-model, coaches and mentors along our growth and maturity phase of life. Sometimes we take them granted like Sun, Water and Nature. Only when they are away, we feel the effect.

I have seen their positive effect in my life and sharing the same with others who need it.

posted October 18, 2007