What are the visible attributes of a "Nasty Networker?"
I'm working on building a comprehensive list of networking taboo's. I would define a "nasty networker" as a person that gives networking a bad name. I'm specifically looking for visible actions and traits that define the "nasty networker."
Here are a few to give you an idea:
- 100% self focused
- Only interested in handing out business cards
- High pressure sales tactics
- Stalker like follow-up (Polite and persistent is good. Stalking is bad!)
Thanks for your help with this question.
Happy Networking!
Answers (33)
Someone who keeps coming back for more, again and again. It is almost as if they are looking at you to be their personal conduit.
Brian M.
The Conversion Scientist™
Best Answers in: Business Development (2), Advertising (1), Internet Marketing (1), Blogging (1)
- Doesn't ask questions
- Doesn't understand their relevancy to you
- Tries too hard to help
- Doesn't try to help at all
- Doesn't introduce people who walk up to "their" group
- Not transparent/Too impersonal
Two things -
1 - Using compliments to manipulate for self gain - ("Oh, you are such an enthusiastic person/great speaker/joyful presenter....just the kind of person I look for to join me and my team!") BLECH
2 - Bashing or being condescending towards competing companies or products
Frank F.
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Hi Scott:
Interesting question.
Nasty networkers In the real world:
- All push and no pull.
- Talk don't listen
- Selfish and self-interested
- All hype and no substance
- No real business sense
- Persistent and annoying
- Ineffective presenters
- Uninformed about what they are pitching
etc., etc.
Nasty networkers Online (as in LinkedIn):
- Self centered or know-it-all
- All take and no give
- Create fake profiles
- Fail to fill out profiles
- Ask "set-up" questions for another Profile to Answer
- Too much push and no pull
- Blatant and/or subtle advertisers/promoters
- Blatant and/or advocates of viewpoints
- Never contribute to Q&A
- Ask simple questions which can be answered by Help search
- Ask simple questions which can be answered by Google search
- Add connections as a numbers game
- Send impersonal invites just with a click
- Collect recommendations as a numbers game
- Never say thank you for Answers to Questions
- Constantly re-open Questions
- Fail to Close Questions
- Fail to select Good and Best Answers
- Answer questions as a numbers game
- Add long signatures to Answers
- Add self-serving links to Answers
Sorry to go on, but you get my point, I hope.
Cheers! Frank
Beth B.
The Networking Motivator (tm) and Membership Director/Chief Networking Officer for the Clovis Chamber of Commerce
Best Answers in: Professional Networking (4), Event Marketing and Promotions (1), Professional Books and Resources (1), Career Management (1), Communication and Public Speaking (1), Small Business (1)
Scott,
I think most people who are bad networkers are just ignorant and uneducated. I've only met one person in 5 1/2 years at the Chamber who was deliberately hateful. But I get what you mean about "Nasty Networkers."
* They give you extras of their business cards so you can pass it on to someone who might need their services ... the first time you meet them!
* They launch into their sales pitch as part of introducing themselves.
* They talk only to people they know at networking events.
* They ask for recommendations on LinkedIn when you barely know them.
The WORST networker I ever saw was during this last season of Survivor Gabon. Yes, I know it's a TV show :-), but one of the contestants said one of the most hateful, ignorant things I ever heard a business-person say. She said "Nice people aren't interesting." There are really people who think that! And I nominate every one of them for the "nastiest networker" ever. I was so annoyed by this statement, that I ended up blogging about it for a week!
Scott C.
Keynote Speaker/Executive Coach specializing in educating entrepreneurs in time management and referral networking
I think most "nasty networkers" fall into the category of novice. They don't get the "givers gain" mentality.
Visible actions would include:
Grabbing everyone's cards and then leaving early
Hunting down "fresh meat" that enters the room
Talking not listening
Never does any one on ones
Gives leads and not referrals
Steals from competitors
Brings nothing to the table
I trust that all of these attributes will either be retooled by the novice as they mature and learn ethics or they will be weeded out.
Scott
Jay ( Jill ) W.
Experienced Musculoskeletal Disorder Rehabilitation Consultant, Body Mind Wellness Coach, and Creative
A 'Nasty Networker' is the one who takes no time for true social networking.
A 'Nasty Networker' keeps their own interests secret, they listen, and want to 'know', to own, and control.
Stealing not sharing is the 'Nasty Networker' way.
A 'Nasty Networker' wants to compete and grow their own and their inner circle of contacts intererest .
A 'Nasty Networker' wants to clear everything off the table for themself, and their own close associates.
In short, a 'Nasty Networker' is self centred and disinterested
Asks for a one-on-one meeting to get to know you, gives you a sales presentation.
Asks for a meeting because he/she is interested in YOUR business, gives you a sales presentation.
Shows up to a one-on-one meeting with a DVD player and DVD and/or takes you through their company's sales brochure (extra bonus negative points if they are a financial planner and they open the meeting by pulling out their company's intake sheet and asking "So, do you own your home or rent?")
Uses every opportunity to speak (including thank you's and announcements time) to give a sales pitch for themselves
Doesn't take the temperature of a new networking environment, behaves inappropriately
Networks like a bull in a China shop - runs up to everyone with the intro/handshake/business card routine - never listens or asks about anyone else
Uses the majority of all communications (personal interactions, e-mail, blog, twitter etc.) to try to sell you something
Talks down about their competition
Finishing up with a personal experience, gets into your personal business inappropriately - religion, politics, personal beliefs etc. (ie: starts a one-on-one by telling you that if you are going to be friends, they are going to have to stay on you until you lose a lot of weight. To my surprise I was NOT being Punk'd.)
Happy Networking!
~Ragen
People that follow you on Twitter then want to be your friends (invade your accounts) on FB, Linkedin & Youtube. Ugh!
I just ignore them, mostly.
Suzanne M.
Fresno Web Developer, Graphic Designer, Social Media Specialist and owner of Wattleweb Global Solutions
Do you think that some people have no idea of networking, how to do it, what to say etc.
I agree with all the answers that have been given so far and offer this link as the way to network, nasty networker's do just the opposite.
Links:
Scott,
Some of the most memorable "nasty" networkers that I've come across made an (unfavorable) impression because they were publicly trashing a competitor, talking about lewd or otherwise inappropriate adult topics, and getting drunk.
I also think networking gets a bad rap from people who are condescending - my wife won't go to some corporate events because her very successful business supposedly doesn't 'stack up' - and those who aren't willing to invite new people into their ongoing conversations. These are poor qualities in any environment, but especially so when you're at a networking event with the goal of meeting new people and reconnecting with friends.
Cheers!
Adam
Asking for "Informational Interviews" from many people, taking time from those they do not know in hopes of building their contacts. I probably get 2-4 of these a week and am of two minds on how to handle them... One technique I am trying is to set office hours and have them call me then, rather than trying to lunch or meet for coffee with so many job seekers.
Setu A.
Lead - Customer Relationship Management Operations
Best Answers in: Business Development (2), Using LinkedIn (1)
Hi Scott,
The most commonly seen attribute of a nasty networker is trying to "expecting to be able to taste the fruit even before it ripes." You would see people treating the prestige of forums and networking policies in a disrespectable manner. Over aggression, spamming and treating connections like "objects" are the most common signs.
Setu
Scott A.
Digital Marketing Strategist | Digital Media Mogul
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Great answers so far, but I think the most insidious is the "wolf in sheep's clothing". You know the type -- they act like a great networker at first. They ask three open-ended questions. They listen to you first. They wait until three minutes into the conversation to hand you their business card. And then when it's their turn, all those other behaviors come out.
The "Nasty Networker":
- is out for quantity versus quality
- disrespects the time and thoughts of others
- talks more than listens
- refers less than is referred to him/her (it is ALWAYS better to give than it is to receive)
- brings compensation into the initial "scratch mine, I'll scratch yours" discussion
- doesn't disclose the whole of the "ask" in each request ("what do you really want from me?" - I shouldn't have to ask)
- doesn't believe in Santa Claus ('tis the Season!)
Susan B.
Owner at Lawyers Don't Know Marketing.com - the marketing manager for firms that don't have a marketing manager!
Best Answers in: Professional Networking (1)
Somone who immediately asks "who does your ...." (phone, insurance, payroll, office supplies...) instead of saying "who are YOU?" and getting to know you. I might be in the market for a product, but if there is no relationship there, I'll go to the internet before I'd go to a push salesperson!
Laura Z.
Social Media and Integrated Marketing Communication Specialist for Non-Profits and Small Businesses
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The person who scans the room looking for for new targets while trying to engage you in some sort of dialogue. I've gotten to the point that I generally take offenders like this to task by either blatantly asking them if they'd like to go talk to someone else or inquiring if they have something in their eye "your eyes are darting all over the place - I thought perhaps you had something irritating them." :-) If the conversation isn't authentic then don't waste my time!
Kim B.
Senior Client Liaison at VACO (Technical Recruiting)
Best Answers in: Staffing and Recruiting (1)
Wow, Scott!
There are a lot of very clever people paying attention to you. All of these points are very valid. It is difficult to come up with any new points to make, most of the ones I thought of have already been spoken for.
I also think that it's somewhat difficult to seperate salespeople from networkers in these discussions, since so many salespeople drive their business by networking. Those that don't are not very bright. So, I'll try to keep my points directed towards the pure networking side.
I think that rather than pointing out all the bad traits (there are more than I could list in a day), I'll point out (off the top of my head) what I think are some of the most successful traits of a good networker. You can flip the points to get the "nasty" side.
* Genuinely caring about the people that you are talking to and what they have to say
* Listening to the conversation - allowing yourself to forget your own points to the conversation if necessary
* Following up in a timely manner after meeting people, especially when action items have been promised
* Being a bridge-builder/connector
* Remembering as much as possible about the people that you meet and then showing them that you remember those details later (sometimes drinks don't allow for much memory - in which case you should politely apologize for not remembering more)
* Being warm, open and cordial to everyone you come across
* Allowing enough time for a conversation to blossom
* Respecting people's desires to break contact with you
Guess that's my contribution. :)
I've had a couple of nasty networkers that asked for my information and promptly signed me up for their weekly newsletters (or worse, their promotional pieces!) without even the "great to meet you" email followup to our initial meeting.
I currently have one that doesn't use Constant Contact, so I can't even unsubscribe! (Consequently, ALL his email now goes to my SPAM folder.)
I've also had the out-of-the-blue "LinkedIn" connection request from people I don't even know, without trying to get to know me or telling me anything about themselves and WHY they want to be connected. I go to the trouble of looking up their URL and sending them a personal email asking them about themselves. Do you know -- not a SINGLE PERSONAL REPLY??? Needless to say, no connection! (I simply don't need connections (or Facebook "friends") that badly!
But, other than that, Austin networking groups are usually fun and the people are interesting. If someone seems shy and new to networking, I like to give them a few tips and let them know they are OFF THE HOOK - networking isn't about sales, it's about meeting people and enjoying themselves, learning about others and seeing if there is any way you can give back to others. It really takes the pressure off!
Where I work, we don't even call them "networking events".
We call them "soirees"!!!
Now THAT sets the tone!
Until next time,
Happy Networking/Soireeing!
Cindy
I'm not sure of the best way to describe it, but some people will ask you questions about your business at a networking function in a way that seems geared specifically to put you on the defensive--these sort of questions are perfectly appropriate at a pitch meeting or the presentation of a proposal, but I'm not sure a networking event is necessarily the best venue, unless both parties to the conversation have moved on to that point. No one goes to a networking function to defend themselves, they go to present themselves and to meet people. Just my $0.02.
Clarification added December 29, 2008:
Let me add a few examples and additional peeves.
Me: "Hello, I am a lawyer specializing in family law."
Them: "Family law? Why should any of my clients pay you for something I could just as easily help them do themselves?"
Me: "Uh......"
That sounds extreme, but it has happened to me on several occasions (maybe I just needed to vent). I suspect this is limited to people in certain fields and professions: divorce lawyers, personal injury lawyers, plastic surgeons, assassins, etc. (meaning no disresect, of course, to plastic surgeons. Or assassins.)
Another example:
Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a lawyer mainly practicing family law."
Them: "You're destroying American society."
Me: "Um....."
Personally, I don't think networking functions are the proper forum to air grievances about other professions. I make an exception if you are networking with an assassin. Air away in that case.
I find especially annoying those who add you to a distribution list without asking if you want to be on it and THEN send you copious emails with information completely unrelated to your needs. The mere fact that I have to unsubscribe from being annoyed, effectively takes them off my list of valuable contacts.
Poor listeners.
The "look past you" networkers just nodding until they can talk to someone else.
Poor manners- too loud, not introducing people, poor taste jokes, etc.
Great postings...thanks!
Scott,
Interesting question. I guess the "Nasty Networker" walks the line of desperation. "I have to make my numbers now so I am going to impose myself on each and every prospect I run accross."
1. Insincere
2. Vomitous from the mouth
3. Quantity verses quality
4. No ability to listen
5. No ability to be flexible
--Lack of eye contact. If a person isn't focused on you, they are 'elsewhere'. They are probably looking for better alternatives vs. talking to you.
--No smiles. If someone is truly interested in meeting you, a smile should be part of the equation.
Great question, Scott.
Dan Naden
Steven "Doc" L.
National Agile Evangelist at Neudesic
Best Answers in: Purchasing (1), Planning (1), Software Development (1), Web Development (1)
* Only interested in collecting business cards
* Follows up with email/call that is all about them
* Gives your information out to others capriciously
A nasty networker is somebody that comes to an event sponsored by another company and stands next to the host the whole night scarfing their contacts.
Scott, to continue to build on this, I also want to add a few "behaviors" of the 100% self-focused nasty networker, along with a few other aspects.
"What are the visible attributes of a "Nasty Networker?"
- 100% self-focused -- demonstrations may include: usurping your time while at an event asking for "free" business advice; never offering anything in exchange
- no initiation of introductions you may find beneficial
- name-dropping YOUR name in association with their interest
- asking for your testimonial or a reference when you have no direct experience of their capability
Rude, disrespectful, fast-talking, is not interested in a mutually beneficial relationship, totally dis-interested in you or your needs.
