How do I get people at a meeting to hear me????
I was recently was asked this question by an introverted professional. Before I respond, let me hear what you think: "How do you get people at a meeting to hear you? I have been at meetings where I present my viewpoint or propose an idea or solution and no one reacts. Then 5 minutes later someone else in the room proposes the exact same thing and everyone heartily agrees. What am I doing wrong? How do I get people to hear me?"
Good Answers (12)
Bob M.
Career Search Instructor and Workshop Designer│Mentor│Program Coordinator | Career Search Blogger | LinkedIn Trainer
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Jennifer,
As a proud introvert, I can relate to your client’s concerns. I often find that my opinion on an issue is rarely asked because many of the extraverts are dominating the conversation. I think meetings are made for outspoken people who naturally blend well with each other. This is not to say they're wrong or obnoxious, and that the introverts are shy and seem to lack substance. It's just the way it is.
I would tell your friend/client that she/he will have to adopt the personality of the extravert during those meetings. Many of your respondents have written about ways to make oneself heard. This is all good advice. Introverts are naturally good listeners, while extraverts are notorious talkers. We introverts have to demonstrate our preference for talking when the time calls for it.
Let's face it, it would be a pretty dull meeting if the room were full of introverts, busy developing their thoughts before speaking. We introverts have to join the party and come prepared with out speaking points. What we have to say is warranted and sometimes brilliant. Let's speak up...and then find a nice quiet place to decompress after a hectic meeting.
Bob, ISTP with an emphasis on I and P
Bob M. also suggests these experts on this topic:
Phil J.
Authentic Leadership and Emotional Intelligence: The New Economic Currency ★ MBL is The New MBA
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The Formula
Know the topic well
Care about the subject matter
Have a burning desire to share with the audience
You have to earn the right to talk about your topic. You have to be passionate about your topic and have a burning desire to talk about your subject. If you know everything you need to know about your topic, distractions, interruptions or losing your train of thought will not bother you. If you really care about your topic, you will not fall into the trap of worrying, during your delivery, about how you look and sound. If you really want to get your message across, you will do so with feeling and enthusiasm, and your audience will catch your mood.
How do you know when you are sufficiently qualified to speak about a subject? A reasonable rule of thumb is that if you know more about the topic than most of the people in the audience, you are qualified. The confidence generated by a thorough knowledge of your subject, bolstered by your sincere belief in whet you are saying, riding on your desire to impart this information and feeling to your audience, comprise an unbeatable combination that will render a lacklustre presentation
impossible.
Warm regards, Phil
Links:
Jim W.
Performance Improvement Specialist | Business Advisor and Consultant | Career Coach | Connector
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Speak with passion and intensity, like you really mean it. Interesting stories work better than just information. My old boss and I use to address the company. When he spoke, you could tell there was a lot of background noise. When I spoke, you could hear a pin drop. Why? 1st - I was very direct and to the point. 2nd - they knew I meant business. I hope this is helpful.
Echoing what others have already said, it could be a matter of their speaking style.
I'd suggest them to ask any co-worker they feel comfortable with who's listened to their presentations to compare the differences. In terms of improving his presentation skills, I'd suggest joining a local Toastmasters International chapter. My feedback and speaking confidence both improved immensely after a few speeches at mine.
Dave M.
Sr Product Manager at Vertafore
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Jennifer,
Without knowing the specifics of the situation, two thoughts occur to me that might be helpful for you to point out to this individual. If the meeting was noisy, perhaps this person spoke and only a few people actually heard the comment, and as a result, someone else spoke up with the same thought that everyone heard at that time and agreed to it. If this was the case, then the answer is naturally to wait for others to be actively listening to you before you articulate your idea. Prefacing a comment with, “I have an idea,” and then waiting for people to listen will help.
In my experience, when an introvert speaks at a meeting, people pay attention because they rarely hear from this individual – because they aren’t used to active participation during a meeting due to their being an introvert. Information flows from this individual later, through other means. The situation described indicates that the individual that you were talking to feels that they proposed something, and people were listening, but didn’t hear the message. Perhaps the message was not conveyed in the same way as the other individual did.
Ask this person to consider what they actually said versus what the other person said; did they really propose the exact same thing in the exact same way? If people were listening, then I would say no. If everyone was listening, than the way in which the same idea was proposed must have been dramatically different, and this introverted person must start considering how to deliver messages effectively during the verbal interactions of a meeting.
Susan S.
Oppenheimer & Co. Inc., financial marketing writer.
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There are two things here. You may just be Speaking While Female. In certain audiences and at certain ages, women become invisible, and it's our responsibility to put ourselves back where we belong, with a seat at the table and a microphone and spotlight when we have something we need to say. In that case, DRESS the part. Enhance your presence. Sit up straight or lean forward. Lower your voice and try to projtect it from your diaphragm. If you can, stand up. Smile and show your teeth when you do. Do NOT end sentences that are not questions on an interrogative tone. Go to toastmasters or take singing lessons if that will help. Watch powerful women on TV and see what they do. Learn how to raise your hand when you're interrupted and say "let me finish, please." Read Deborah Tannen's YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.
Yes, this happens to men, too. It happens to everyone. The speech tips I've outlined work for men as well as women, but I don't see men made invisible as often. They may suffer from being in an outgroup (political or generational), but they need to evaluate the power politics of a meeting (as do women) and strategize how to adapt to them.
And if it happens anyhow, don't show your frustration. Contribute to the buy-in. Catch the successful speaker after the meeting and make that person an ally.
Sahar A.
Diversity& Inclusion|Leadership training|Social Media Marketing|Social Media Training|Public Speaker|Culture Competence
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Jennifer:
It is in the way they present the ideas/ presenttaions across
Do they do it as OK it is just a job let us finish with it or they do it with passion and candor as passion is infectious
Is the content entertaining
Is is short and to the point
Did they research the subject well
Did they research the audience well
What are they doing to engage their audience
Do they keep a monotone voice where everyone gets bored after 2 minutes
I would suggest that this person joins Toastmasters so they can pick up better speaking abilities and capabilities
My 3 cents
1) talk to a stage actor that can teach you things like -use of voice-, -body language-, -communication with the public- etc. etc. They have tons of hints, tricks and tips. (I'm still amazed that actors don't do trainings for office people.)
2) Talk slowly, lower your pitch, look people in the eyes, use hand gestures.
2) read the book: -made to stick- from Dan Heath and Chip Heath.
Note: I do not have any $$$business with the publisher and I don't own a bookstore. This is just a great book that everyone should read. Summaries are everywhere on the internet.
I hope you achieve your goals.
Mike M.
LTE Project Manager at WesTower Communications
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Jennifer:
Here's a few ideas:
1) Speak like you're talking to the farthest person in the room (this way you'll speak loud enough).
2) Keep your response short.
3) Tell a brief story or analogy that makes your point.
4) Get excited about your answer (passion is contagious and sells well).
Hope this helps.
Mike
Joe R.
Currently looking for opportunities to deliver highly collaborative, sustainable, and scalable interactive entertainment
If you want your message to be heard be provocative.
Punch the audience in the face with statements that are designed to illicit a response that your follow up to the reaction will stoke even more interest in your viewpoint or supporting discussion.
People that go to meetings don't really care if you spent 3 years researching your subject matter. They are looking for something thought provoking and worth listening to, if you didn't deliver it in a manner that resonated with them, they didn't hear you, won't care and likely won't be coming back to the next meeting.
Introversion/Extroversion mean nothing only the goal, which is conveying your message in a manner that will garner recognition for you and your efforts and improvement or spreading the message to the audience. So if you're introverted by nature its time to train yourself to put on a more extroverted front for these occasions.
Hope it helps.
Sally S.
Speaking & Storytelling Strategist
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There's another spin to this story. You have a person who apparently has good ideas that are not being heard and acknowledged. It's OK to want credit for your ideas. That's where promotions and better projects come from. For this, you need a bit of assertiveness practice. If other people keep getting credit for your ideas, they are probably getting the raises, the bonuses and the promotions. The key is to claim your ideas. Practice standing up and saying, "Joe, I'm so glad you liked my idea so much."
Start keeping a diary of these occurrences, not to complain, but to demonstrate that you have good ideas. It may be that you need to be having one-on-one meetings with your boss or perhaps submitting your ideas in writing when you think of them. Think of how your organization is being deprived if they do not recognize a valuable idea person.
Dan O.
Expert Communication Trainer, Keynote Speaker on Dealing with Difficult People
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Without knowing the person asking this specific question, I'm going to be a little politically incorrect, and say that I would bet that this person has an image problem. A physical image problem.
In this country, and most of the world, packaging is everything. We saw that in the last election, for example.
I am going to bet that if someone has good ideas, and no one is hearing them, but they are hearing them when someone else brings them to the table, the problem lies in the packaging of the person delivering the message, rather than the actual delivering of the message.
I would tell this person to go to a professional stylist, and maybe a vocal coach for a week.
I don't mean to sound superficial, but if people generally aren't listening to you, the way you look is often the culprit. Conversely, it's amazing how people will listen to people who are polished on the outside, no matter what drivel is coming out of their mouths.
Again, look at the last election--Sarah palin looked polished and put together, and people listened to her, despite the fact that all she had to say was that Joe six-pack could shoot a moose in Russia from her rooftop.
So before we go into all of the communication strategies that could be implemented, I suggest taking a look in the mirror. It might be superficial, but it's business. Sometimes, packaging is everything.
Or, now take a deep breath...it could be that people simply don't like you, and you need to work on that before anything else.
Links:
More Answers (17)
Charlene N.
Senior Finance & Operations Leader -- Passionate about Profitability
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You aren't doing anything wrong, Jennifer. The scenario you just described happens ALL the time. If you have a good idea, then no matter who gets listened to, as long as it gets implemented, your goal has been reached.
Fahmi A.
Sr. Manager - Business Excellence at DEWA
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Jennifer,
Based on my experience, I suggest the following:
1. Always remember: It’s not what you say, it’s HOW you say it.
2. Listeners will ask themselves: what’s in it for me? So relate what you are saying (your message) to your listeners’ interests.
3. Spice it up! Sometimes “dry” data and facts are boring, so tell a story or give an example.
Dwight L.
Lecturer, University of Texas at Arlington College of Business and Chairman of the Board, Resource One Credit Union
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A consistent credibility related to the activity or subject matter, a reputation for persistently achieving results regardless of obstacles, an obvious personal advocacy for a point of view and a driven passion to excel in your field of work. Phil's comment is spot on: Passion combined with a sincere belief in your topic will carry the conviction of your ideas to the audience.
My $.02
Maria M.
Strategic Business Advisor from Planning to Execution, Speaker, Trained Life Coach, For Financial Advisors & Accountants
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You're not doing anything wrong. It goes back to people need to hear something a bunch of times before they "get it". What I learned to do is
a) choose when I will say ... yes, that's exactly what I was saying
b) when it's not worth it to me to say a)
Hi there,
To be heard...
1. Keep your body language still and voice tone flat (turning down at the end.)
2. Raise your voice and say out loud “Atten! (Without finishing the word) the room will fall quiet.
3. Pause, until everyone is looking your way (and they will), then speak in a slow, low voice to make your point.
Extract taken from Michael Grinder – Group Mastery Certification Training – it works!
Larry T.
Survival Expert to business owners entering the jungle of borrowing money
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Jennifer: My experience includes what you describe as well others said also. However, I've found that tickling or speaking to or addressing the audiences' emotions is a key to gain attention/interest. Speaking to their heart.
People say you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. This is incorrect. If you salt their food thoroughly enough initially they will drink! Salting your talk/speech with the right kind of words can make most listeners drink.
Steve B.
Radical Transformation Facilitator/Turnaround Specialist/Mediation Services
You can insert yourself into the conversation by being an active listener and asking questions that will help others overcome their barriers and educates you about the issue at hand. Read Jesse Nirenberg's book, "How to sell your ideas." It's the best book written on the subject. You will have either have to get it through your library or buy it on the internet. I recommend it to all my clients and have used the strategy outlined in the book with great success.
Wallace J.
Multimedia Producer, i3D Programmer, Acrobat 3D PDF, Android App, Virtual World & iTV Design, Kindle, Nook & Sony eBooks
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Become an Enigma.
Links:
Dave M.
Professional trade show booth traffic builder and party entertainer. Corporate and private sector events.
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Utilize the loudest megaphone you can find...
Scott B.
Factotum
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Pyrotechnics help. Otherwise, passion and conviction.
That's my 2 bucks.
SEB
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Kate K.
Director, Organizational Development & Training at Choice Logistics
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Be passionate about what you are presenting. Know the subject matter inside and out, and then present it with authority and confidence.
Think about why the topic is important to the people in the room - what's in it for them? Make them believe they must do whatever it is you are trying to get them to do.
Write your topic down, and have notes to work from as well, so you can refer back to them if you think you might have missed something.
Again: confidence and authority, WIIFM, write it down.
Judy B. M.
Business WRITER | Editor | Blogger | Strategic MARKETING COMMUNICATIONS | B2B | Web Content Creator | BusDev
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Susan's advice and Martin's are excellent. Heed them.
Cathy I.
Outsourced accounting firm that helps business owners connect to their vision by connecting them to their numbers.
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I question why they want to be credited with the idea. Maybe that other person was able to sit on it and reword it so that others can better understand. The point is to come up with the best idea for the group. If it is yours, great, but don't strive to be the one that has all the ideas.
I would suggest asking more questions and being more involved in the conversation. This way you can lead the conversation and ideas toward a solution. You have to be part of the brainstorming process, not just the solution.
Jennifer,
I have recently finished reading "Made to Stick" and I would recommend Sheath brother's SUCCES principle -
S - Simple
U - Unexpected
C - Credible
C - Concrete
E - Emotional
S - Story
If your idea has these ingradients - you have a good chance that your idea will stick and others will hear you!!
I hope this helps.Good Luck!
Peter B. G.
Business Strategist-Speaker-Author (Social Media & IT)
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This is largely about learning how to speak in public. What is important is how you portray yourself when you speak. It is about command and presence. do not be afraid to speak out about things that you believe in.
I suggest you go and find your local Toastmasters meeting and join them. they will teach you how to speak and be heard. In the meanwhile take a look at a couple of articles that I have penned recently.
Links:
Anoz P.
Softskill Trainer at Globarena Technologies Pvt. Ltd.
Best Answers in: Staffing and Recruiting (1), Corporate Governance (1), Product Design (1)
If you have started reading this answer, you have already seen an example of how I made you read me.
I have a two term strategy to make it work - Situation and Empathy.
Hit them exactly when they "NEED IT" and exactly "THE WAY/ WORDS" they need it. No more and no less. Do not explain or exaggerate before they ask you for it.
The secret is in the history of your communication. If you have a history of talking when you are not requested to, you would be taken for a non stop speaker, and if you contribute only when you are asked to or deeply expected to, you have the ball in your court.
