Marc A. P
Senior Editor, FundraisingCoach.com and author of "Ask Without Fear!"
As a donor to charity, what do we nonprofits do that REALLY annoys the tar out of you?
What do we do that irritates you? What do you complain about around the water cooler at work? What's caused you to stop giving to a charity?
These could be small irritations or really big glaring things we're missing. Here's your chance to get it off your chest and help us serve you better!
I'd like to compile a list of, perhaps, 100 pet-peeves of donors. I'll also give tips on how to avoid them.
Let the games begin!
Marc
PS If you work for a nonprofit:
(1) Don't get defensive. The answers will help us serve our donors better.
(2) If you answer, please answer as a DONOR, not as a nonprofit employee
Answers (106)
M. (Monica) B
Journalist (investigative)/researcher/writer/yoga addict/sports fanatic/deep thinker/firm believer
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Hi Marc,
Nice to meet you.
Personally, I'm not a pet-peeve person. Life is too short and too valuable for pet-peeves.
That said, there's are only two small dislikes on my end:
1. once I donate, pretty much all charity organizations think I'm interested in donating to them, too which isn't the case at all since I'm somewhat picky when it comes to donating;
2. it happens quite often that after donating, I receive unwanted mail. The charity organizations always claim they do not sell your personal information, but in many cases they do.
In short: there's some kind of tension to invade other people's privacy once they (the charity organizations) detect the slightest willingness to donate.
My 2 cents.
Best wishes,
Monica
Hi Marc,
My husband and I both are contributors to several causes and I'm a volunteer for one of them. My biggest beef (and I don't have many) is that I do think that if you attend a charity function or two or donate regularly to specific charities that our names get on some sort of magic list that's circulated at AFP meetings or something. I know that we've been invited to events that we've never attended in the past, nor have we contributed to them.
Otherwise, I feel that the money I donate is used for its stated purpose, because to do otherwise would not float my little canoe in the least. We're picky about who we support and at what level we support them and I'd have to say that the name-sharing is the only real downer that we've experienced -- and it is an annoyance. If I want to attend an event or donate funding, I can certainly call the organization myself.
Cheers!
Susan S
Oppenheimer & Co. Inc., financial marketing writer.
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Unlike Monica, I peeve.
1. Please don't call at dinner-time.
2. If you are going to call, please don't make me wait while your computer-dialer condescends to link me to a person. I hang up.
3. If you are going to call, make sure there is a person on the line. I hang up on computer voices. Or, if there is a space for a reply, I complain. Sometimes I call back and complain. And I no longer contribute.
4. If you don't know me and you're asking for my money, at least give me the dignity of my surname. If you don't KNOW my surname, why are you calling me? If you don't know my marital status (not that it's your business), don't assume and don't ask.
5. Don't try to guilt trip me or cajole me into a higher level of donation.
6. If I say I can't, NO means NO. My favorite in this category was the winner to whom I had to shout, "What part of I LOST MY JOB didn't you GET?"
7. Yes, I know it's a worthy cause. So is my dinner, going to the bathroom, being online, sleeping, or staring out the window when you're calling ME. Yes, I also know I'm not socially conscious.
8. Get the ideology straight. My favorite along this line was the very conservative group that called me to legislate against censorship: I treated them to ten minutes condemning them as bad conservatives who wanted social engineering, bigger government to enforce it, the nanny state, and were interfering with my right to raise my children as I chose (I have none. But I had a good laugh.)
9. Get on, and get OFF. Keep it brief. If you have an excruciatingly long survey, I don't care how valuable the information is to you, you're taking MY time.
10. Don't sell my name to other people. I don't want to talk to them either.
11. Don't lie if I ask what percentage of funds raised goes to the end user.
12. Don't send four-color publications. They're expensive. Can't you use spam like everyone else?
13. I realize you're in the non-profit sector and doing valuable work, but I worked in university life, and I am quick to detect self-righteousness. It annoys me. I am unpredictable when I am annoyed.
14. Do not call me back if I say this is a bad time -- especially not two hours from now, asking "Now?" I am occasionally polite and will say that rather than GO AWAY, which is what I mean.
14. If you've done any of the above, and I hang up in aggravation, so help me, if you call me back to rebuke me in entitled tones, I'll go to your president. I have done it. I will do it again.
If that makes you think I am a horrible person and you work for a non-profit, PLEASE take my name off your lists NOW. I love the opera, I love it dearly, but when they got too aggressive, I canceled for years.
Oh, and as you may have guessed. I am very verbal, and I talk about these things. Naming names.
Clarification added August 20, 2008:
If you are a "gentleman caller" and you use my first name while giving yourself a title, as in "Susan, I'm Mr. X," you are asking for verbal mayhem. At the least, I will ask for your first name so we can be on parity, or I will say "that is Dr. Shwartz." I may explain the power implications, if you haven't thought of them. Hang up on me, and I will complain, guilt-tripping about how I thought your organization was more socially conscious than THAT.
Mark V
Team Lead - Field testing at Intel Corporation
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1. Don't bother me at home. Don't call, don't send mail.
2. If I chose to donate to you, don't you DARE sell, give, or otherwise make available my identity or contact information to anyone except under court order. If I THINK you have, you've seen the last penny from me.
You have the legal right to do both of these things. You have a moral right to do NEITHER.
John H
Inbound social web marketing strategist
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My main peeve is too much asking and not enough thanking.
I don’t get peeved, I just stop giving. But rather than describe the negatives, let me tell you about the perfect charity, in my view.
1.) It operates in my greater metropolitan area and restricts its grants to three areas of focus that are important to me: hunger, the welfare of at-risk women and their children and mental health.
2.) All administrative costs are borne by the organizing company’s foundation, so 100% of what I give goes to programs.
3.) When I donate I get a prompt written thank you, and then I don’t hear from them again for a year.
4.) After a year they send me a recap of all the grants made in the past 12 months – to whom, for what and how much – along with a polite request for another donation.
They’ve been getting the lion’s share of my charitable contributions for quite a long time now.
Regards.
Lisa M.A. W
Information Technology and Services Professional
Best Answers in: Event Marketing and Promotions (1)
I think there's only one thing in specific that stands out for me, and this applies as much to elected officials as charities - if I'm sending you my money, assuming I had any after buying dog food, in order to support X, then why - and I'm looking at the Humane Society in particular - am I getting repeated fat envelopes filled with cheesy address stickers or bits of junk asking for MORE money to send me fat envelopes filled with junk?
Nonono. I want a goat purchased, or a dog taken in out of the rain and fed instead of killed, or a woman to get to feed her kids some protein with their rice. I don't want to see a cycle of self-promoting administrative traife. I know you're there, you don't have to remind me in such an irritating fashion that makes me think I'm wasting my time or money trying to help.
Wow, Marc - what a question!
My biggest pet peeve is probably the lack of engagement for anything other than asking me for money. I know I teach that from the consultant side, but much comes from my frustration as a donor - that I am not asked for my opinion, my dreams, my ideas.
Ok, and there is another one. Everything I get is a form letter, down to the thank you's. Rarely will I get a thank you that feels genuine. And I never ever ever get a phone call (unless I give to the Diaper Bank, where we instituted the "Everyone gets a phone call" policy years ago!). It all feels like money machinery, with no heart behind it. And perhaps because I work in the sector and know the intense amount of heart there really is, it is frustrating not to see that in a group's thank you or other interactions.
Oh geez, you really got me started now - one more: The junk mail of direct mail, down to the prayer flags and address labels and other "stuff" that is supposed to either entice me to give or guilt-trip me into thinking, "Well they sent me this stuff I didn't ask for and don't want - the least I can do is give them money!"
Bottom line for me, it all comes down to a lack of engagement with me as a real human being who cares. I have more to give than just my money, and some of what I have to give may be more valuable than my money. But no one ever asks.
And as for all the time it would take to engage more sincerely, it currently takes time to communicate rather coldly. Everything takes time. If we have time to do things poorly, we have time to do them well (sorry - that blends donor and consultant - I can't help it!)
Sorry so long - you know what happens when you get me going!
:-)
Hildy
Links:
Hi Marc!
One of my pet peeves is that there are too many nonprofits doing the same work. I don't like being asked for money to support a new organization if there is already an effective, credible and established organization with the same mission.
- Andrea
Renata R
Philanthropy Expert & Charity Analyst
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Donor peeves:
1. Assuming that because you know me, I'll make a gift to your charity without knowing anything more about it.
2. Treating donors of larger amounts as though they are better human beings than those who make modest gifts.
3. Never getting a personal note of any kind.
4. Selling me a ticket to an expensive gala and then nickel-and-diming me while I'm there for drinks, raffle tickets, photos, etc.
5. Sending a direct mail solicitation with a response card listing pre-printed donation amounts ranging from $25 to tens of thousands (who in their right mind sends a five- or six-figure check in response to a direct mail piece)? If you expect that kind of dough from me, I better be asked with some degree of personal contact.
6. Just because I make a lead or large gift to your organization, do not assume that I will continue to support the charity annually with big gifts.
7. Don't do or buy something big and THEN ask me to pay for it as a donor.
8. Don't make me feel awful if I have to renege or lower a pledge because my personal circumstances have changed.
9. Treat in-kind donors with as much respect and gratitude as you do donors giving equivalent amounts of cold hard cash.
10. Invite me over to your facility every once in a while -- whether for an open house, a one-on-one visit, or for a special event (and don't charge me for it).
11. If you make telemarketing calls for donations, don't have them made out of a boiler room operation where I can hear three other hustlers in the background trying to get money out of other people.
12. Special for schools -- do NOT have current students call me, reading from a script, who only want money, but have no way to record comments, questions, or notes for follow-up by a higher-up -- and who are calling from a boiler room set-up to boot.
Marc, thanks for giving us all the opportunity to b**ch!
I've been on both sides of this one.
1) promptly acknowledge the donation
2) update me on how the donation has been used (even if it's an overview of the impact the non-profit has made in the last few months)
3) contact me for feedback or input on the organization without soliciting me
4) ask me what correspondence I do want to receive and what specific aspects of the organization is of most interest, then cater your messaging to address only those areas i.e. get to know me!
Many of the suggestions below are also very important. Don't call me at dinner or other family times, don't sell my name or other contact information, do protect my confidential information, including any financial information I may have provided (donating with a credit or debit card).
I especially appreciate the comment about not treating donors of major amounts more special than donors of smaller amounts.
Sometimes, a ten or twenty dollar donation is more of a sacrifice than someone giving in the thousands or even greater. The person sacrificing to give should always be honored and thought of more highly than the one giving from their excess, regardless of the dollar amount.
I don't like when they act snippy if I request to be removed from their mailing list.
Richard J
Owner at open consulting LLC
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Cheesy direct mail. OK, I'll name them: Amnesty International regularly sends me fundraising letters with "free" return address labels with my name on them and the Amnesty International logo. There's something very trivializing and demeaning about these little stickers. Am I supposed to think of all the political prisoners being horribly tortured with bare electric wires and waterboarding while I press my tongue to a piece of paper and pay my utility bills? Besides the fact that I do all my bill-paying online now, and in fact probably don't mail more than a few letters a year, I don't really want these things. I think that the character of the "ask" should correspond to the character of the issue you're addressing.
I have given to many charitable organizations, granted they're mainly large national non-profits. Over the past couple of years that the amount of mail I receive has significantly increased. My only conclusion for this is that my name and address has been either sold or shared by a non-profit that I donated to. Not cool.
Don't send me junk in the mail like address labels, notepads and pennies. I have an understanding of the costs of printing and mailing and including these items with a solicitation letter makes me wonder exactly how much of my donation will be used for the core mission of the non-profit.
I get quite irritable when I receive multiple mailings. I am a busy guy who does not have time to read your letter when I when I take it out of the mailbox. When this happens, it really makes me wonder if it's worthwhile to donate. Besides, it's not green nor eco-friendly.
Lastly, do not call me. I don't give my credit card information over the phone to anyone. Yes, please do send me a solicitation letter but it will sit in the large pile of unopened letters. Calling someone at home has to be the dumbest idea ever. It's an intrusion on your personal time.
On the plus side, I respond better to solicitations sent to me via email. Even if I receive multiple emails from non-profits, I can manage this much better in email format than a pile of unopened letters. My email is usually open all day long. Don't spam me to death either.
Hi Marc,
My pet peeve is receiving bi-monthly envelopes stuffed with glossy 4-color brochures and assorted literature/promos asking for my continued support when I already give a significant amount every month. I am rather concerned about what fraction of my donation actually makes it to my intended recipient, and I see these mailings simply as a waste of my money.
Cheers,
Larry
Hello there Marc,
Peeve #1 The "non ask" ask. Just come out and ASK FOR IT! Nothing drives me crazier then the never ending stewardship of a donor that fails to result in an ask. Cards, notes, emails, tours, invititations to events, lunch...never an ask. Tell me what you want, how much, for what specific projects/outcomes. Get on with it.
Peeve #2 Pandora's Box. There is such a thing has to much communication, to many requests. I really lose interest in a charity if upon making my first gift I get hammered with request after request after request. I understand that as a donor I am the best prospect for the next gift but getting 5, 10 or even more additional asks in a calendar year is both annoying and a terrible waste of resources for the charity. Keep it to a handful, learn the specific hot buttons and focus the ask but please stop asking me to fund every possible event/project.
Peeve #3 The additional ask in the Thank You letter. Nothing more annoying then the "thank you for your generous gift-you are the best!" letter that immediately transitions into a "please give more now". Every non profit should thank thier donors with no strings attached, no additional asks of invitations-just a pure thank you.
Randy B
President of Centurion Advisory Group
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Send monthly form letters.
Randy
Clarification added August 20, 2008:
And in this case, I serve on the board. It still irritates me. I know their address, and I know how much I have budgeted to give.
Randy
Alice D
Human Rights Defender and Educator, substitute teacher, defrosting cold cases!
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Sending me address stickers I did not ask for and misspelling my name,.....it all costs money and it goes in the trash!
Marc:
There are two things: 1) non-profits allowing their names to be used for the sale of items in their name where the proceeds add up to 10% or less of the moneys collected; 2) being solicited by a charity to mail out request letters and then being responsible for collecting and recording the donations and forwarding them to the charity.
Those are my two biggest turn-offs.
-Les Brown
Doug F
Training manager, course developer, and instructor
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Marc,
As with others, I have seen this one from both sides. And, thank you for asking -- I am glad to see someone have the sense to ask the question you did.
The good feelings that I get from being generous are quickly erased when I sense that that I have become a mark to be taken advantage of. I particularly dislike being treated as though I am stupid -- more than one national charity sends me a "Your annual contribution" solicitation every 60 days.
Since it is clear that the charities keep records of donors in databases, use that information to respectfully care for your donors, just as a customer service operation uses a CRM application to care for its customers. An example of what I mean is to maintain a record of my contact preference -- if I tell a representative of a charity to not call my home I expect that I should only have to do that once. If I tell a representative that I only respond to mail solicitations I really do not want to be contacted otherwise.
Lastly, I wish that I was more convinced that charitable operations were committed to solving the problem at hand, and not simply using it as an opportunity to justify recurring revenue and a means to support their employees and their families.
To echo others, on this one I vote with my money -- I remember those that treated me well and treat them accordingly and I do not give money to those who have abused my willingness to help.
Clarification added August 23, 2008:
Serendipitously, yesterday I received a solicitation in my mail at home that established a new low... it was sent certified mail, requiring my signature to receive it. Since mail is delivered when I am at work and I did not want to wait several days to receive an undoubtedly important piece of mail, I went to great lengths on my Saturday morning to go to the Post Office to accept delivery. Although I agree with the goals of the organization, I will not send money to people that treat me that way.
As someone who has worked in and with nonprofits, I'm glad to see a general outcry over the types or number of solicitations sent and the sharing of donor names. I know this has been one of my pet peeves, but I have also cautioned myself that I in no way represent a "typical" donor because of my level of involvement.
A couple pet peeves:
(1) Selling my name. I once gave to a worldwide nonprofit and learned exactly how insignificant I was to them as a donor because they sold my name to countless other charities with a similar mission.
(2) The "bonus" gifts. I accept that they work for a certain number of donors, but please give me the option of NOT receiving your T-shirt, mug, stuffed animal, etc.
On the flip side, for GOOD donor experiences, I will name names: The National Museum of Women in the Arts had a great fundraising package at its launch; both in tone and graphics made me feel as if I was participating in something good and valuable as a donor. Their newsletter was educational and their follow-up materials were all relevant and maintained the tone set at solicitation. (For the record, I've never been professionally involved with this particular museum and have only seen them from the donor or visitor side.)
Overall, I think that the coming generation of donors is going to demand more input and control--because that's what they're used to in everything else, particularly in consideration of their online presence. I think these challenges will be fun to work through with nonprofits who aren't sticking strictly to "business as usual."
Great question, Marc, and I look forward to reading the continuing responses!
Sara H
Business Coach and Relationship Marketing Specialist, Keyway Strategies, LLC
Biggest pet peeve: nonprofits that hire aggressive telemarketing companies to call you. No appreciation, sharing my information with other nonprofits who ALSO use telemarketing companies. And, they pay the majority of the funds they raise to the companies they hire to call me.
Links:
I echo many of the concerns expressed by the people on this page but let me add to the thread a bit.
When a non-profit publishes a report on annual giving they should get it right 100% of the time or not publish the report at all if they lack proper data collection and reporting skills. My wife and I recently gave a substantial gift to the non-profit that I work for but their annual report reflected a gift of 25% less than we contributed, despite having a thank you letter for the full amount.
It makes a donor wonder if:
- The gift wasn't appreciated
- The institution doesn't know how to manange money
- How often is this happening to other donors
Rick
most of the small non-profits I know do a very poor job of telling the donors what their real needs are. They need to cast the vision, explain the needs, and then tell me how they would like me to help.
The problems that i hear the most is how much money the staff makes at the nonprofit organizations. Many people hear the incorrect information about salaries for directors, Which make them not wan to donate. What most people do not realize is how little most of the nonprofits make. The few that do ruin it for all...
Hi Marc,
The biggest thing is not thanking for donations. I've been in the position where I could have done something else, sometimes bigger for an organization. But I haven't been thanked or a thank you comes so late or worst of all -- it comes packaged with another "ask" as in "thank you for your donation, won't you give for this other event or issue?" Mother was right: manners count.
:) Abigail
Susan S
Corporate Trainer at Mohawk Valley Community College
Best Answers in: Non-profit Management (16), Organizational Development (2), Starting Up (2), Compensation and Benefits (1), Non-profit Fundraising (1), Philanthropy (1), Small Business (1)
Marc: My answers are not unlike many you've received already, but I'm glad you asked!
1. Assumptions that since I gave to a similarly-missioned npo, I will give to another or 20 others just like it. I had my reasons for giving to the one - don't assume that I give indiscriminately. You're "like missions" are not all alike, not by a long-shot.
2. Phone calls that sound like they are coming from a boiler room. Don't call me and ask for money - ever. I do not give based on phone calls, not even to students who call from my alma mater. My giving isn't like ordering from LL Bean. I don't give based on one call a year.
3. Don't make your only contact with me a call or a letter asking for money. If you can't be bothered to tell me what you do with the money or to contact me when you don't want anything, then don't contact me at all.
4. Don't send me stuff. I don't need or want stuff. I will probably die before I can use all the notepads, address labels and tiny calendars I receive.
5. Don't send me generic anything - solicitation letters, acknowledgements for contributions (!), brochures, newsletters or annual reports addressed to "To Our Friends At". If you can't be bothered to find out my name, then don't waste your money sending me anything.
6. Don't send me a "Dear Friend" letter with "Dear Friend" crossed out and my first name written in. I don't find that conducive to wanting to give you anything, especially if I am already a donor. Send a letter - personal - to me.
7. Don't send a solicitation letter that thanks me generically for past gifts. Let me know you did your homework and know who I am and what I gave you last year.
8. If I've told you I cannot make a gift this year, say "thank you", wish me a good evening and get off the phone. Don't keep trying to get me to say yes. I won't.
9. Don't keep mailing me the same letter over and over. I didn't respond to it. Receiving it a 2nd or 3rd time with no new information will not snare my interest or my gift.
10. if you're going to write a personal note on my letter, then write something more meaningful than "Hope you'll give" or something equally inane. Show/tell me something that I may not know and that addresses why you need MY gift.
11. Big news flash: I know you are only calling/sending me a letter because I live in a desireable zip code. My zip code qualifies me for nothing other than paying my mortgage every month. It has no magic connection to your mission. If you're spending money to buy lists based on zip codes, purchasing preferences and whether or not I subscribe to the New Yorker or Martha Stewart Living, you're wasting your time, my time and your money. My income/education/demographic are predictors of nothing that likely has anything to do with your mission or purpose.
Hope this helps in some way...
SUE
Good answers already. I had been a donor to a local charity for which I also volunteered. I stopped doing both when leadership at the charity spoke condescendingly about other donors in my hearing—blaming the lack of organizational growth and good strategy on the donors not giving enough. It’s not that they likely talked about be the same way, it’s just not the right way to treat people. I would rather give to an organization that leads into the future and offers me the opportunity to help them achieve a better world.
Links:
Hi Marc,
This is a great question. I really dislike getting high gloss, thick packages which scream that too much money is being spent on fundraising.
In these days of email and paying bills on the Internet just how many address labels do nonprofits think we can use. It is an incredible waste of money and shows disregard for the environment.
I am not hung up on being thank you'd properly although I know how the fundraising professionals say this is important. A simple thank you that clearly provides a tax receipt (and says so) is good enough for most contributions. For the few organizations that I make a large donation to, I am engaged on a personal level, attend events and the thank you is personal and I appreciate it. I don't expect anything fancy for most donations.
If I have responded to your ANNUAL appeal, then why are you spending my donation on sending me monthly appeals? I don't mind if you want to send me email during the year since that is inexpensive, but I haven't made a contribution to killing trees with your monthly requests and if you do that it will be the last time you hear from me no matter how elaborately you thank me.
Overall, I want my donation to be spent on your mission not on address labels, an overbearing number of appeals or excessively thanking me.
Marion
MarionConwayConsulting.com
marionconwaynonprofitconsultant.blogspot.com
Kate Armstrong L
Communications & Community Affairs Manager
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HI Marc - I'm a peever ... and most of my peeves have already been enunciated by others.
One that hasn't -- the multiple layers of solicitation. To call out names: American Heart Association ... local chapter, state chapter, national. Trust me, I keep track, and I know where I've given in the past.
Another as-yet-un-written peeve: when my senior-citizen mother gets multiple mailings in ONE month from the same organization ... I can assure you, she has strong affinity to the organization, and gives annually. And she has told them by phone, in writing and as email response that she wants ONLY ONE SOLICITATION PER YEAR. She's gotten so annoyed with Susan G. Komen that she plans to redirect the funds to another cancer-prevention-related charity. Too bad - if only they'd used their customer/donor relationship software to the full extent, they'd still get her annual donation.
