What is the funniest (or worst) resume gaffe you've seen in 2007?
whether you are a hiring manager, recruiter, resume expert, career coach or a working professional, you've probably seen some interesting resumes.
Share what you've seen so we can all learn from what shouldn't be circulating.
Answers (35)
'I prefer lunch to be gin at Noon everyday."
A resume from a laid off "Retention Specialist".
Everything from photos and perfume, to listing ethnicity, age, religious affiliation and "I enjoy baking bread" listed under accomplishments.
I like to use a hot glue gun as a hobby. One for the ages.
James M. K
Registered Professional Architect at James Koenig Architecture LLC
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Ree motto in baa frooms four gub mint.
Henrik H
General Manager at Garia Inc.
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"Working knowledge of a calculator"
“Great oral skills”
Mark E
Contractor/Developer
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We had a guy with a PhD apply for an $8 per hour maintenance job one time. I can't remember now what his discipline was but it was something like Astrophysics or Astronomy.
Eileen B
IT Professional, Information Security Quality Assurance Operations & Administration / President, CMU SEI LI SPIN
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The one that was on HOT PINK stationary, I saved it, too funny :)
Eileen
Under the "Description" field on an online resume submission Form for a technical position, where most applicants listed their their technical skills, an applicant listed "I am well built and well hung".
First, having the heading: Objective. The resume should resonate with the job you are more than qualified to fill. Of course you want a job, you have a resume.
Second, listing what you have done as opposed to wording your accomplishments to steer readers to what you can or want to do.
Mark S
Senior Project Manager at Commonwealth of Massachusetts
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I saw on someone resume I was interviewing a job description and work he claimed that I did - When I question him he claimed he was my boss before he new who I was.
Greg B
Content Strategist, Community Builder, Newsroom Manager with Flair for Editorial "Edge" and Media Brand-Building.
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Not sure if it's strictly a CV error, but I see this online ad all too often:
"Experienced Writter Available"
Seriously.
The worst always has been bad Portuguese for me. There is no need to write hardly used words to have a great text. It is all about writing everything right when you are using your Mother Tongue.
I was looking for a Creative Director in Boston, a candidate sent a coverletter "in rhyme" and said it would be best read if you sung it to the tune of "Old McDonald".......clearly creative.......and deranged!
My friends know how famaus my spelling skills are! I would have to say my own first resume was pretty funny! I am a great closer, but by my spelling/gramer reflects poorly on my Collage! and for that I am sorry!
Happy New Year
Meitzen
Jeff B
Senior Manager Talent Development and Leadership Acceleration
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I had a project manager position where the candidate sent me a 97 page resume. It had copies of the emails he had exchanged on his previous project. I read the first few pages then just counted them. I did exchange a couple of emails w/ the candidate asking why he sent me that long of a resume. He said I needed all of the information to make my decision.
Kristen F
Author; Sourcing U WA Medical Centers; Independent resume and HR consultant, via Conquent.
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The HR professional who claimed she fostered a "Spirit de corps" when she really meant an "Esprit de Corps."
Deb D
'The CEO Coach' helping visionary, gutsy CEOs with a conscience land faster, earn more, have fun, and change the world!
Best Answers in: Job Search (1), Career Management (1)
Here's a general gaffe, Peter: resumes lead by boring profiles filled with superlatives, no demonstrated proof of performance, and no differentiation.
I wonder how many hiring managers or CEO actually read through an entire resume that begins with something like “Seasoned senior-level professional and consummate strategist with outstanding communication and analytical abilities, and a strong record of performance in delivering substantial revenue gains.”
Arrgghhhh….SO frustrating! Who cares? Wouldn’t that apply to just about every successful executive? Where’s the value, the differentiation, the brand, the reason to be seen and heard?
Unless the profile suggests clear, targeted proof of performance, it hits the trash. If more applicants understood that branded, specific, quantified, dollarized accomplishments (accompanied by challenge faced and strategic impact delivered) are what capture interest and lead to interviews, they might be more strategic when composing a resume and letter.
I recently reviewed a resume from a potential client (from a senior HR executive!) whose entire first page was a chart of skills. Not ONE accomplishment or hint of what he actually did to impact the company in his job, not even in his job history on page 2. Yet he had a long career history and was promoted at each new position. He had to have been good at his job, yet, none of it showed up on paper. Amazing.
Deb Dib, The CEO Coach
"Unabashedly passionate about helping visionary, gutsy, fun leaders with a conscience build great careers, mold great companies, and even change the world a bit!"
Links:
Adam W
Vice President at Globalization Group, Inc.
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"I want to work in a fast paste environment."
Jennifer B
Seasoned Management Professional & former HR Generalist
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Since I specialize in problem work histories I have seen some really interesting ones this year. The two most remarkable ones this year were:
#1) A client had been unemployed for a long time, wasn't getting any response to her resume, and feared she was falling prey to 'age discrimination'. As her resume was coming over the fax I had to run to the phone to call her back. Her resume was perfect fodder for an identity theif and it was already posted on the internet!
It was a five page old-fashioned CV that started out with Name, DOB, SSN, Marital status, everything but a photo. It contained her complete work and education history going back over 40 years to her high school days. Her reference sheet even included her pastors contact information and her religious affiliation.
#2) Another client experiencing a protracted job search. Her main skills were her 'complete fluency in both written and conversational english, french, creole, and spanish' and her medical office experience. I found over 35 spelling and grammar errors on her resume!
I have to include my favorite e-mail gaffe as an honorable mention:
I had a client who used his personal yahoo e-mail account for his job search. His resume was great, he was qualified. I couldn't figure out was wrong. Until I printed out his e-mail to place it in his file... he'd added a personal quote to his signature tag-line... it was a quote from a Tupac song... something about being fed up with the world and looking for a purse to snatch!
Not appropriate for someone trying to land a job on wall-street.
Links:
From a resume sent from another country:
"Married ten years with only two issues."
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
Lisa S also suggests this expert on this topic:
A Designer once sent me a resume that said "fired from last job because super was an alcoholic"
Really how did he know? And why is that grounds to fire him not his super?
That had also been is 9th job in two years, so no big surprise.
When we were hiring for a part-time assistant for myself, we advertised for an hourly staff member with customer service experience. I received résumés from three different individuals requesting a minimum salary requirement of $70,000.
I once saw a resume where the candidate explicitly spelled out his/her sexual orientation (which was, let us say, 'non-standard')--and included links to related sites as a bonus!
Now, I have one for the recruiters:
I have seen too many job postings that call for a "...highly experienced technical project manager who can code, design architecture, and deploy systems...he or she must be an excellent communicator and must also have proven sales and business development experience...he or she must have business savvy, be detail-oriented, excellent at framing strategy, with very good interpersonal relationships, and a strong work ethic..."
Come on! These recruiters are asking for a one-person symphony orchestra. If such a super-person exists, why would they need employment? They might as well be in business for themselves.
I have seen many as a recruiter for 7 years. Some of the more memorable were: one guy misspelled his own name (I knew him and introduced him to the company and he spelled his name wrong - I passed it along as is and he still got the job); one guy meant to put MARTIAL arts as an interest and instead put "expert in MARITAL arts".
Ron B
Director - Product Development at AT&T, Oracle Deputy CTO 2008, Oracle ACE Director, Technology Leader
An interesting thing happened to a friend of mine ...his phone number digits got juxtaposed, and the call apparently went to an escort service with a fairly colorful description on the answering machine.
He got the interview and the job, but the hiring manager cracked up during the process and once convinced he was not in that service line - told him what happened.
Timothy P
Managing Partner, Pappas Delaney, LLC and knowledge leader in helping organization hire to their culture.
Best Answers in: Staffing and Recruiting (1)
No name on the resume, no telephone. Only a reply to "managementexecutive@comcast.com". Also had listed under the "awards"
"National Regional Manager of the Year"
I had placed an ad and was very behind in reading my emails after being flooded by resumes. When this happens I read from the present day backwards. I came to an email where a man was profusely apologizing for an error on his resume. He had attached the new resume, of course I couldn't figure out what the error was from that one. With my curiosity up I located his first email and cover letter and found out what the error was. ".....After being laid I had retired, but now wish to get back into the workforce." Too funny. To this day I wonder if it was a way to get me to look at his resume, if so it worked!
In response to a question on the company information form, where gender is asked,
Sex: (M/F)
The answer, neatly and snuggly scrawled
"Once a day, sometimes more"
(a. I got my HR to change the column Sex to Gender
b. We did not recruit this petite young lady.
c. Most hiring managers went home wondering, if they had "enough" in them. :) )
