What characteristics do you look for in a mentor?
It is very clear that people with effective mentors have much more successful careers than those that don’t. At minimum they are able to avoid some of the basic mistakes and recover from stumbles much more quickly. They also have access to opportunities and contacts that they might not have on their own. What has been your experience with mentors and what do you look for in one? How much has mentoring contributed to your career and life experience?
Answers (41)
For me, a mentor should be someone who is intimately familiar with the corporate culture-- someone with at least 5 years' experience at the same company, preferably in a variety of roles, and who knows how to "get things done" in the company's unique corporate culture.
Another factor to consider is seniority. The best mentor will have the ear of top management, both to help me gain access when required, but also to put in a good word or help smooth something over when there is a misunderstanding.
Finally, a good mentor should be a kind, supportive and generous individual who is willing to take the job seriously and make it a priority to meet with me regularly. Someone proactive is best; at the least, someone responsive and available is an absolute requirement.
I look for wealth and breadth of experience. I look for someone with an extensive network, both within the Mentor's company as well as the community. I look for their record of service to others.
I hope this helps.
Take care...
Mark
Robert D.
Top Executive with Exceptional Track Record Enjoys Building Teams
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I look for those with compatible but not overlapping experience, with world views that supplement or contrast with my own, with specific understanding and experience regarding the career and management issues that I am likely to be encountering, and those who come recommended by others who have successfully overcome obstacles, missteps, or challenges in their own careers.
Gordon D.
Strategist Who Helps Non-Profits, Businesses, and Comics/Popular Culture Say The Right Thing to the Right Audience
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First, I can honestly say that if it weren't for the mentors in my life, I probably would not have been as successful as I am. Granted, my successes are relatively small, but if it weren't for key people, I would not have had the professional experiences I did.
My primary goal in seeking a mentor is - does this person have the skills that I want to cultivate? I've been blessed to have mentors who were willing to share their expertise, and who have helped me by sharing their experience.
Another key trait I look for - the ability and willingness to share their expertise. It's sometimes difficult to find someone who feels confident enough to share - or, better yet, they don't share, believing that sharing their expertise means that they "lose" something.
Victoria P.
"She Negotiates" Consulting and Training
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To be a high quality mentor to young attorneys, a senior attorney should: (1) introduce her associate to her market, i.e., her clients and help her associate form a good working relationship with those clients; (2) take her associate to client meetings, settlement negotiations, and (if the mentor is a litigator, as I was for 25 years) not only take her associate to trial, pre-trial hearings and depositions, but give her associate the opportunity to examine a witneess at trial, aruge motions and take depositions, at the appropriate level of sophistication to match the associate's skill and experience; (3) encourage her associate to start building her own "book of business" on day one of legal practice -- first by envisioning that book as a goal in all its detail and then by taking the first "baby steps" to achieving that goal by joining professional and industry organizations, writing articles in legal and industry specialty journals and speaking at industry conventions as soon as she is able. The mentor should be a tough but forgiving critic of her associate on every level -- practice skills, client relationships and collegiality within the law firm. In turn, the mentored associate must be willing to stretch herself, go out of her way to take on new challenges, and, as my white water rafting guides always exhorted me, to "paddle through her fear." Oh yes, and how could I not add -- BLOG! Start reading Kevin O'Keefe's blog on blogging (http://www.lexblog.com). It's the mentees' web 2.0 onward. Use it, maximize it. Pass it along! Best, Vickie Pynchon
Victoria P. also suggests this expert on this topic:
Personally, the first thing I look for in a mentor is their genuine desire to teach. I have been fortunate to come across a vast number of 'experts' throughout my career - however, I can count the small handful that has been supportive and truly interested in my personal and professional growth. Interestingly enough, I have discovered that some mentors do not have to be true 'experts' in a particular field either.
Tarek F.
Sales Manager
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Earl, hope you are doing well
Another great question, that opens up lots of thoughts.
Recently I have read a book its called "The Mentor, a story of Success" by Claude Diamond. http://www.linkedin.com/in/claudediamond .
It was a great story, so I recommend if you reach out for Claude so he can send you a copy.
On the other hand, the main thing I look for in a mentor is someone who will Show me how to fish, and not only eat it.
and the rest will be all mine.
Have a fantastic day
Clarification added July 13, 2007:
Mentors come in different relations, there are business mentors, spiritual mentors and relations mentors, every one of those is different but they all have the same outcome which is; showing you how to do the best in everything you do.
As much they are totally different areas, but they all help you to reach your self awareness and build you emotional intelligence account.
I owe it to few people in this world who helped me find the really me and evolve it. They showed me what I was able to do. the strange thing was; They were right. <smiles>
Ghada R.
Senior Vice President - Business Intelligence, Financial Reporting, Data Quality, Risk Management
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Someone I can trust, good listener, can give me constructive feedback, can help me find and grow my talents and learn from my failures..
A great mentor should have intimate knowledge of the industry and company in order to provide proper guidance for a career path. Addition to having a level of success in senior management, it is most important the mentor truly can be a teacher. A mentor should be in the position to depart knowledge and guidance selflessly
Vincent R.
Changing People's Lives, Web & Technology Solutions, Brand Development, Career & Sales Coaching, Staffing.
What I would try to provide as a mentor is (& what I would want from my mentor is):
-Someone who would commit to being my teacher, and someone who I would commit to being a student. Meaning: That person would give me new insites into a topic/business issue/... I would commit to actually listening to the insites and at least trying to incorporate them into my actions.
-Someone whom I could trust and who could trust me. In order to get the most out of the relationship there needs to be a mutual trust & respect. The student needs to trust that the mentor isn't going to (intentionally) have them do something improper. ..and, of course, the mentor needs to take on this responsibility as well.
-I would want someone as a mentor that has a body of knowledge in something that I wanted to learn. They wouldn't have to be all-knowing just have wisdom that I could learn from. ...and have the common sense to reason out the rest (and let me see those thought processes too).
-I do not think that the mentor has to expose me to their contacts, nor put in a good word for me. I would rather them teach me how to make my own way. I would actually feel a personal obligation to my mentor to somehow increase their stature/contacts in return for their guidance.
-Finally, I would want my experience with this person to be fun & engaging. Something to look forward to. Something that I would not abuse. ...so that it lasts.
...and I have had few good mentors over the years that have changed my life.
When you are looking for someone who is a mentor. You really would want to respect to those who are willing to take the time to walk through the process of learning the new opportunity in their field. It is not always the case, when you have someone who has been within the company for 1 year to 10 years. Those who know what they are doing and they are good at what they do. It is how the mentor's teaching style. How he/she can walk you through the learning process of whatever the subjects you are facing.
My main focus is how well they can teach me or walk me through the process without getting frustrated.
The secret of the mentoring is having the patience of repeating the problem over and over until the person who is learning, get this "aha moment." Or being willing to change its teaching style by doing something different. Like using basic life experience to relate to the problem as an example.
I've been blessed with three mentors, each very different people in terms of experience and personal style. The one thing they all have in common? With the grace of a magician, by accepting me exactly as I was, they somehow managed to change me for the better.
So if I had to translate that into a skill set, I suppose it's an amalgam of empathy and leadership by example.
Amish P.
Strategic Innovation
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As a mentor I try to:
-Listen more than I talk
-Realize what I can be helpful with, and what my own limitations are
-Offer advice in a manner I would be happy to receive it
-Fulfill promises in a timely manner
-Give my undivided attention to clients
-Treat current and former clients even better than prospective clients
-Combine advice with rolling up my sleeves and getting my hands dirty
-Ask for critical evaluations often
Links:
I found mentors pretty much at every job, I even was assigned to one mentor once. I look for people who are more experienced than me, usually they're older too. They have a good sense of humor and ability to help/guide with patience. They respect my abilities, what I know and what I do and always raise the plank - have slightly higher expectations from me, which pushes me to grow. It's true - it's very hard to grow in your job without a mentor.
Nancy D.
Patent Attorney & Attorney at Law; Public Speaker
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I've never had a "mentor" who has helped me along the primrose path to the rosy end of my career (nor do I particularly want one). However, I would look for someone who (a) is a good, patient teacher; (b) is well-placed professionally (notice I didn't say "within a corporation or business." I'd want someone who knows people all over, not just in one company); and (c) has a circle of acquaintances to whom s/he is willing to introduce me in a favorable light that could be of benefit for me to know.
When I mentor someone else, as I have done, I present to them the world as I know it (meaning I take them to professional meetings (if it's an associate in my firm, they sit in on client meetings if it's appropriate and the client consents), present them with work that broadens their skill set as much as they want it broadened, introduce them around to other professionals (not just other attorneys), discuss how they can best present themselves (things like don't get cocky, don't wear writing on your t-shirt to work, etc.), provide them with contacts to others who can help them, etc.)
Nancy
R Vijay K.
Director - Global Operations Competency Mgmt, Head - Chennai Center at Logica
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1) Trust is a key factor. Trust gets built over a series of interactions which is why most of the "forced" mentors do not work out.
2) One should be clear about which areas one needs mentorship in. The answer to this question would help in identifying areas from which one should take a mentor and in setting right expectations. One needn't always have a mentor from within one's organization.
3) If one wishes to have a mentor within the organization, typically a person who is one level or max two levels up should be fine. One should be cognizant of the demerits of very close association with a single mentor within one's organization. One may end up not taking enough risks or doing different roles - both of which build exposure and reputation within the company.
4) Leadership style of the mentor is another key aspect. We all know folks whose mentees would not have lasted long.
5) It is best to avoid looking at a mentor as a great networking opportunity within the organization.
6) Mentorship is not necessarily about learning the ropes. To my mind it tells more about the inadequacy of systems and procedures within the company. One would be benefitted more by associating with folks who have deep knowledge about the industry one is working in. This would help in thinking well about issues, articulating a sound position and generating enough momentum to execute on the same.
7) Finally, a mentor may provide only 10% of the total mentorship that one may need. For the remaining - one has to invest time and energy in reading up, being part of industry forums and the like.
I'm with Amish on this one.
Carter S.
Director Aviation Services
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I have had the opportunity to be the protégé of tow particularly skilled senior level officers. My experiences with enabled me to better understand my profession to be sure, but the most valuable lessons that I took away from them had more to do with real life, and real relationship, and how to become the person that you want. The rest, as one used to say, “will take care of itself”,
The best advice that I ever got from mine (which hang over my desk in a form of the Original Work Commandments that I picked up over 10 years). I would like to share them in the hope that they can offer you some of the comfort, advice, and education that I have received from these two wonderful people:
• “The higher up you go and more access you attain for yourself and others; the more that all the positive reinforcement has to come from within”
• If the numbers (like salaries, projects, etc) don’t tick and tie with your heart- then no matter how correct the math is; the number is wrong.
• “My father had never been to school, but when I asked him about his job, he said with pride that he cleaned toilets better than anyone else ever could. While I never received much formal education myself, but I took that same feeling of pride and passion in what do from my dad.
• Never forget that work can and will move on without you. You are a life, and you are here to experience that life. Find the time to be vulnerable, find the time to be at peace, find the time to thank the people who care about you the most by investing time in them.
• Give the young bucks their day. Guide them when you can, and if you find one that shines from the rest, then connect and nurture that connection. They are the future, and they are almost always as scared and thirsty as you once were.
For those of you still looking for a mentor, do not worry. They come to you at times that are organic, full of promise, or are occasionally born out of a tragic event. Either way, being a mentor is about chemistry- so just keep a look out for who inspires you. What type of person is that? What about them inspires you?
I enjoy mentors who have taken a different path through life than I had, just so I can see a sort of "what-if" take on my own path.
In larger firms, a mentor who can help you make connections with people outside of your immediate work area is key to moving up the ladder. Otherwise you might end up being the most accomplished fish in a very small pond.
I also look for someone who can help me navigate the political waters.
As a mentor, I look to have open discussions with my protege and get an idea of what they are looking to accomplish from the relationship and which areas they wish to improve. I also keep my eyes open for opportunities inside or outside my organization that would be of interest to my protege and help them advance on their career paths.
I would say impatience and genius. The genius to make me want to learn for her or him, the impatience to not let me slack.
When I mentor I try to be patient, but I also try to set the bar as high as I can, so that the protege (protected from all but me) has to give me everything they have got to clear it.
I used to (and from time to time still do) mentor poets. Yes, poets. The first question I'd ask is "For you is poetry a hobby, a diversion, a job, a passion or a religion?".
If they answered anything but the last two, I'd politely decline. They weren't poets anymore than a man with a band aid is automatically a doctor.
I demand a lot from my proteges, but I also expect my mentors, when I have them, to expect a lot from me. My best mentors have been those who recognized in me some excellence needing nurturing, as they are motivated by the desire to teach and to enhance.
Mentor or tour guide? A tour guide shows you the ropes, directs you to the network of people who get things done, helps you when asked.
A mentor takes an active interest in grooming you for promotion in the company, because this person is not afraid of youth and knows that the best job security is a strong organization. A mentor will pull you aside and redirect you when you are on the wrong track. They will open doors for you and bring you opportunity. They will celebrate your success.
Essentially, a good mentor would be just like a good supervisor, only without the paperwork overhead. The good mentor becomes a partner in your growth and takes some risk in promoting your success.
Good mentors are a rare and valuable find. Good tour guides are everywhere.
Craig D.
Brand Manager at QuadTech
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Must be sinless and part of the Holy Trinity. I've never liked the concept of mentor/protogè. Seems kind of faddish. Whether it be colleague, supervisor, underling, family, stranger -- whatever -- I try to notice the things they know and do that I don't. Then learn and adjust accordingly. Want to be a good parent? I'll talk to people who have clearly done it well (not psychologists). Need advice on a software package? Find the person who knows the most about it. The "position" of mentor is just too broad for me, too much power for anyone.
A mentor is one who has successfully navigated a path and chooses to over time and through commitment share their experiential wisdom with another person. Mentors are teachers at heart understanding that when two people get together, one goes away changed. A mentor is called to positively effect another persons life and gives sacrificially. I am sorry to say, mentors are hard to find these days.
Links:
A good mentor is someone who is aware of, open about, and celebrates their mistakes.
I can't learn from someone who has effortlessly skated through life, easily achieving one goal after another- mainly because that person does not exist.
I can gain a wealth of knowledge from someone who has tried, painfully failed, and used those lessons to try again, a little smarter and with more awareness. They're usually easy to spot- where others brag, they speak softly with a smile. Where others point fingers, they self-evaluate and move on.
I find a mentor's age to be irrelevant, since it does not always map to the sort of experiences I am describing.
Kenneth S.
Senior Technology Consultant; Pastoral Care Pastor (Assemblies of God)
For me, outside of the business knowledge, a mentor MUST be someone with integrity. I would not want a mentor that was in any way unscrupulus - what could you truly learn from someone that was?
The best mentor I have had was a book called Monday Morning Leadership. Maybe that is not a real mentor if it isn't a person, but it helped me grow as a teacher, a colleague, a friend and a community member.
Since it was the agent of change, I figure it shoud get the credit. I don't imagine a book can access opportunities and contacts, but it helped me make the most of the naturally occuring connections I have made.
Links:
Shmaya D.
יעוץ וליווי עסקי: הידע הדרוש לך ליותר עסקים, יותר כסף, יותר חופש אישי. Executive Coaching and Business Consulting
I had 3 good mentors, and I served as one myself often. What I look for in a mentor is what I try to give:
- Better understanding of the inner workings, the hidden knowledge, the things they don't teach you at the university.
- The ability to bring wide experience and sound judgment to the issue at hand.
- The will and ability to teach, by challenges more than by solutions, by examples more than by rules.
- Demonstrated faith in the student's ability to succeed, and a genuin happiness in the student's success
- The ability to open locked doors and step aside, to direct the student to a "wings factory" rather than an airline, to give a safety belt while believing it will never be necessary.
David B. B.
M.A., CRADC, LADC, Chemical Dependency Counselor at Hazelden Foundation
1. Someone who is extremely resourceful and expeienced.
2. Someone who can offer a fresh perspective and point out your blind spots in a safe environment.
3. A person who is an extension of you that shares your goals
and dreams and reminds you of them at the right time.
4. Someone who tells you the truth all of the time, no matter what. Most people have a vested interest in keeping you happy, sometimes at the
expense of honesty.
Mukund T.
Lifelong Student of Project Management, Occasional Mentor
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Adding to what everyone has said.
I was fortunate to have a good mentor when I took up a new responsibility. What made the the mentoring relationship work was his tolerance. He encouraged me to learn. Although I made some mistakes, he never made me feel inadequate for the role.
Clarification added July 14, 2007:
By "his tolerance", I meant the mentor's tolerance.
